Categories
Lifestyle travel

RV Lifestyle: Pros and Cons

We’ve been living the RV lifestyle full-time for close to a year now. We sold the house, the cars, virtually all material possessions; all in pursuit of a lifestyle full of travel and endless adventure. Do we sound crazy for doing this? Of course. But we aren’t the only ones running away from the traditional norms of society. Plenty of people are hopping on the bandwagon (or RV-wagon), especially after COVID and in light of the current housing market trends.

Time to read:

7–10 minutes
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Please consider joining the gone community by subscribing below & following us on social media. It’s 100% free, and well worth the price of admission. We’ll update you with the newest RV lifestyle stories, tips and tricks, mental wellness tips, and so much more. DMs are always open to chat, and we’ll answer any questions you have about this lifestyle – it doesn’t have to be scary! We also promise not to spam your inbox with junk – we don’t care for that either.

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The [Pros] of the RV Lifestyle


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  1. RVs are much more affordable than housing. Did you know the median home price in America is $428,700? Compared to $20,000 for a lower-end travel trailer that you can pull with most trucks or SUVs – that’s wild!
  2. Monthly rates at most RV parks or campgrounds can easily be cheaper than the average mortgage. Most monthly rates are around $800 (or even less). This rate includes your lot rent, water, power, and waste in most cases.
  3. You are mobile! With a motorhome, RV, or camper, you can take off on the open road anytime you’d like. You aren’t anchored to any specific location like you are in a house. If you’re tired of your surroundings or want to seek out better weather (looking at you snow birds) then you can put the pedal to the metal and chase the sunshine.
  4. Taxes and insurance are MUCH cheaper on a RV as compared to a home. In 2020, the average single-family home taxes in America were close to $3,700. This is also combined with paying home insurance, which is close to $1,800 per year on average. We’re talking about $5,000 per year (or more) in taxes and fees for an average home. RVs and campers have the advantage of being tremendously less expensive in this category.
  5. If you enjoy privacy, you can have more of it – all of the time! You won’t have to deal with nosey neighbors. We all know how this can go … Instead, camp out on BLM land or on a sprawling 500 acre farm with Harvest Hosts and you’ll enjoy the freedom to roam.
  6. Keep your mind sharp: imagine a world where your surroundings can be different every week. That’s how we currently live – your life continues to feel shaken up and exciting because you can travel freely. I personally, got bored in the same old town doing the same old things after 26 years.
  7. Story telling … release your inner storyteller by sharing stories about your travels. We’ve found ourselves stopping to pause when telling others stories about our epic adventures when we realize we’re talking about reality – punch me! Experience life, rather than being the one hearing about others experiencing life.
  8. Create a flexible schedule that allows for travel, experience new things, and work a lot less. We find ourselves working a whole lot less than full-time right now, because we have built a lifestyle focused on experiences instead of a paycheck.
  9. Travel with man’s best friend, Fido! Your pets can come along on your adventures when you live in a motorhome or camper. No longer will you have to leave them back home and get someone to dog sit for the weekend. They get to come along with you now!
  10. Unlimited adventure is outside of your window. No, literally. When we wake up in the morning, we get to sit outside while we work with our internet hotspot. Working custom hours, choosing adventure more often, and chasing a lifestyle of freedom is a feeling you’ll come back to; no more sitting at an office cubicle, that’s for sure.
  11. Chase a new career or passion like blogging, photography, or recording podcast episodes. Creativity is amplified by travel. Can you imagine trying to write blogs about the same hometown you live in every day? The content just doesn’t scale like it can when you travel.
  12. Being out in nature will improve your mental health and regulate your body’s chemicals. Do you want a happier, healthier life? You can find this by connecting with the great outdoors. Traveling allows you to consistently sit outside at new places, breathe fresh air, plan hikes and nature-based activities, and more. Build an active lifestyle!
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The [Cons] of Livin’ in a Van Down by the River (RV Lifestyle)


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  1. RVs do not hold their value, as they are a depreciating asset (anything with wheels and motors is typically depreciating) The majority of homes will increase in value an average 3-4% per year, at a minimum they hold their current value.
  2. The majority of RVs and campers are not built for all four seasons. This means that you will definitely notice hot summers and cold winters in a home on wheels – and it can be rough. However, there are RVs that are specifically made for all four seasons – Airstream is a great example of these.
  3. RVs just aren’t built with the quality a home is. There are not nearly as many code regulations and inspectors focused on the build of RVs or campers. In a traditional home there is usually a city planning committee, plan examiners, codes that must be followed, and code inspectors that help hold a standard of quality.
  4. You’ll get a TON more life out of a home. Sticks and bricks homes are built in a completely different way than most of your run-of-the-mill campers. Homes can last 100 years (some historic places have lasted longer!) compared to an RV which will deteriorate within 15-20 years – if you’re lucky.
  5. Maintenance is an ongoing disaster with a RV. Part-timers put close to 3,500 miles per year on their rig while full-timers drive closer to 14,000 miles per year. Because of the constant driving and banging around, you’ll expect a lot maintenance repairs – tires, brakes, axles.
  6. Community is very hard to build while constantly traveling. We can speak first hand about this, we find ourselves feeling a little lonely sometimes while on the road. You’ll live a mostly digital lifestyle in an RV – where you interact with others on social media, blogs, and other online communities.
  7. Finding regular health care services can be difficult while on the road, especially if traveling consistently. You’ll have to do in depth research on new cities to find available health care while you are there, and they can be weeks out when scheduling an appointment to see you.
  8. Privacy can be seriously lacking when you stay next to others at certain RV parks. You’ll hear barking dogs, noisy neighbors banging around, and the couple next to you fighting while they try to back in. This can feel pretty reminciedt of life in a college frat dorm.
  9. Complex budgeting can be a monthly hassle. We try to budget weekly, (at a minimum definitely once a month) so that we can stay on top of our spending and monthly budget. It will fluctuate month-to-month A LOT – especially if you are traveling frequently, so expect to spend a few hours here a month planning.
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Speaking of budgets, we have a RV Life Budget sheet that is an example budget we’ve used before, and we give you a template where you can make your own next to example budget.

Enter your email below to sign up for updates to our blog, then you’ll be able to download the RV Life Budget sheet below.

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Just Announced: We have camping & outdoor merchandise now!

We custom created our lines with the outdoors in mind. We carry everything from stickers, water bottles, RV pillows, to blankets. And there’s plenty of clothing options too – t-shirts, shorts, yoga pants, sports bras, hoodies, socks. All of our merch is perfect for the RV lifestyle that we live and breathe.

You can click the above hyperlink, any of the below images, or copy and paste the link below into a new browser window to shop (we try to make this thing as easy as possible.) Any of these will get you to our new merch store – and we hope you’ll find something to fit your fancy while you’re there! (If you don’t, shoot us a DM and let us know what you’d like to see us add to the list.)

Here’s the shop link: https://noplacelikegone.creator-spring.com/

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Thanks for taking the time to read our blog today. We hope you got plenty of useful tidbits and feel more confident about trying out this insane RV lifestyle (or more confident in your decision not to – ha!). If you want to keep the conversation going – shoot us a DM:

Please consider joining the gone community by subscribing below & following us on social media. It’s 100% free, and well worth the price of admission. We’ll update you with the newest RV lifestyle stories, tips and tricks, mental wellness tips, and so much more. DMs are always open to chat, and we’ll answer any questions you have about this lifestyle – it doesn’t have to be scary! We also promise not to spam your inbox with junk – we don’t care for that either.

<img alt="Matt with
Matt with
No Place Like Gone

Hey! I’m the man behind the magic – A.K.A. the camera and blog. I’m also a purveyor of craft beer, grill master, and chief RV driver.

Here’s similar reads if you’re interested about the RV lifestyle:

Categories
Adventure Lifestyle travel

Adventure Awaits

Estimated time to read:

6–9 minutes

The average American spends close to 90,000 hours in their lifetime working to make a living. Whether it’s a job that you love, hate, or could care less about, you’re working just like the rest of us.

But, who said you had to spend your life doing things that you don’t enjoy? Even if you went to trade school to get a certification or college to get a degree – you aren’t stuck doing that specific thing forever.

Instead, spend your life searching for adventure. Adventure is a little different for everyone, but there are proven ways to find the adventure that is uniquely yours.

Start your adventure today by joining the [gone] community! We’ll send you travel hacks, money tips, lifestyle advice, and so much more.

You can ask us any questions about van life, traveling the US, or just chat with us on social media:

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Adventure is waiting for you with open arms.
You must find adventure – it’s out there waiting, undiscovered.

For me, I had a moment about a year ago when I just couldn’t handle the stress anymore. It felt like I was stuck in a rut and like I wasn’t moving anywhere. I wasn’t happy with my life, I was sinking down into depression, and I needed a way out. So, I began searching for adventure. “What do I love doing? And if I could find it, “why did I love doing it?” These are questions that kept me up late at night.


Me standing on a tree stump searching for adventure.
Me searching for adventure, from a tree stump.

Fast forward to where I am now, about a year later, and I’m feeling like the best version of myself. I went through a near death experience a few months ago, but that won’t stop me. I have things to accomplish, and I’m searching for adventure everywhere I go.

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Along the way, I’ve discovered that I really enjoy writing. I actually started out with trying to write a self-help book – and that adventure lead to me wanting to begin this blog as we traveled the U.S. I took a hiatus from my day job because I needed to regroup and recover in many areas of my life. But even so, I worked vigilantly to create this blog & update our social media – passion projects that I discovered I really enjoy.

Our latest on Instagram:

A year ago, we knew that a change of pace could do us both good. Our instagram feeds were flooded with van-lifers and full-time RV travelers. You know the type, perfectly curated photos set in incredibly impossible locations – the stuff of dreams. We thought these people were crazy (guess we are now too), but there was something that continued to draw us both in – adventure. My girlfriend and I are both nature lovers, needed a change of scenery, and didn’t want to feel stuck with our careers or our day-to-day life. We wanted to create a new life, and that began with our plan to travel the United States.

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We put down our fears and sold the house, both cars, and almost every material possession we owned. Knick-knacks – nixed. Extra clothes in the closet – donated. Christmas junk – gone. Lawn equipment – don’t need it without a house, huh? We were crazy enough to do that, and it was one of the scariest times of our lives. But, because of pushing through that fear, I’ve had the most exciting and exhilarating times of my life. It has been an adventure, daily.

We’ve traveled from South Carolina (where I’m originally from) down to Florida (where my girlfriend is originally from,) all the way across the country to California (where we are now). We’ve seen 15 states in about 10 months. We’ve really only slowed down recently because California is so ginormous!

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We knew that things weren’t making us happy. They never did, even when society told us everywhere that they could (Thanks, capitalism). By saving money on useless things we used to buy, we were then able to invest that money back into ourselves. We reallocated our money towards therapy, books to inspire us, a RV, travel expenses, and investing in our future. That’s how important you are, I am, and we all are.


I want to ask you to analyze where you are in life right now. Think about your career, the city you live in, your living situation (house, apartment, etc.,) you relationships, your health, your community. The key here is to make sure you write all of this down – it can be on paper or even on your iPhone’s Notes app. Take this seriously, because you need to evaluate where you are in life so that you can make a plan for YOUR future adventure.

Who said you can’t chase your dreams? The wildest thing in life is that life is a choose-your-own-adventure type of experience – and everyone’s is different. During your lifetime, you can do just about anything – but you have to define what it is that you actually want to do.

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Me beginning the adventure of this blog.
Me almost two years ago starting this blog.

Do you want to become a YouTube video creator? Let’s say video games are your thing; you can make videos and game walkthroughs. Do it! Start your adventure today, and don’t quit. Part of the secret to success in life is that you have to invest enough time to let things flourish – don’t give up on your first try.

If you plant corn, you expect corn to grow – not pumpkins. So plant the corn and be hopeful about its future growth. Because of drought, pests, and/or bad weather, it’s possible that the corn may not grow well this year. Your harvest may be lacking now but next year will be better. If you keep watering the seeds, fertilizing the soil, and caring for your crop, you’ll eventually reap exactly what you’ve sown – corn.

Want to subscribe to blog updates? We won’t send you any spam – just the newest things we’re writing about!

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Allow yourself to think heavily on what adventure(s) you want to pursue. If you don’t have any idea what this could be, think about what you are good at, what you find yourself excited about doing – or, better yet, try something new. Try writing, taking pictures, a new job, coaching youth sports, cooking your grandma’s recipes, or maybe even getting your hands dirty landscaping. I’ve really been enjoying exploring nature photography, as well as writing (of course.)

The main point here is to try a little of everything until you discover what you really enjoy. It may be that something you never even considered – you’ll have to think outside of the box. To be honest though, the goal is less about finding what you enjoy and more about the adventure along the way of trying something new.

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I don’t make a lot of money (yet) writing this blog. But every week I still sit down to write. That’s because I enjoy doing this, and want to share my thoughts with others. I want to change the way society sees things, lifestyles, and travel which is why I’m fulled by passion.

As this blog continues to grow, and that could take YEARS, it’ll evolve and take on new shapes. Along the way, I will get better and better at it, and people will begin to notice it online. The goal isn’t to make a lot of money writing, the goal is to see what becomes of the blog – to enjoy the adventure. These things take time. But since this is a passion of mine, it doesn’t matter how much time will pass for me, I’ll enjoy the journey along the way.

It’s important to note that you’ll have bills to pay as an adult, and adventure seeking won’t always pay those bills right away. It may take searching for a while and a lot of learning to discover how you can make a living doing something you are passionate about. So, you’ll probably have to work some jobs in the mean time that you align with but know that they won’t be forever. This is okay and is all a part of the adventure along the way.

Keep searching for your next adventure, and you will find it.

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You’ve made it to the end, thank you so much for joining me on this adventure! I hope that I have encouraged you to chase your own adventure soon. You can become what you want to be, but you’ll have to work hard, and keep your face up to the sun.

Please sign up for blog updates, it’s completely free – no strings attached. We will only deliver our content to your inbox – no spam.

You can chat with us directly on social media – DMs are open! We’d love to hear about the adventures you’re chasing.

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Categories
Adventure Lifestyle

Is Van Life as Glorious as Instagram Shows?

Estimated time to read:

9–13 minutes

Is van life as glorious as Instagram lets you believe? Yes, yes, it is. Case closed, stop reading here, let’s all go home!

I’m kidding – but really, every time you go on Instagram and TikTok you see them young kids livin’ their best life in a van down by the river! The worst part is that you can’t escape this content, because it’s all so appealing. Of course it sounds amazing to buy a kitted-out van, decorate it hella cute, and slap your Instagram handle on the outside. Trust me, I get it … we are currently living that life right now!

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Before we jump in, we ask that you consider joining the [gone] community where you’ll learn about travel, van life, minimalism, mental health, and more!

Got any questions about van life? Hit us up in the DMs!


Yes, #vanlife looks AMAZING! But …

Starting out on a strong note, I hope that you like the smell of poop in the morning. When you go to pack up your campsite and leave in the morning, you’ll have to stand out by the lovely “dump station.” What’s that you might ask? Well, it’s exactly how it sounds – your RV takes a dump. You have to connect a hose to your black and grey tanks (black being toilet waste, grey being sink and shower waste). Then you pull a valve, and hear the lovely sound of water rushing through. Oh, and it smells great! Just like a wonderful sewer sanitation facility. Welcome to van life, my friend.

Shitter’s Full – clip on YouTube from National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.
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Much like being a parent to a newborn, expect to have poop all over you at some point. Well, it’s not always that bad, but sometimes it can be. If your waste hose decides to throw a tantrum, expect poop on you. Did you forget to weigh down your hose connection to where it connects to the ground sewer connection? As the waste water is rushing out, the hose could jump off of the connection and hit you in the face. At any single time. Hah – what a life. Even better, if you’re camping in below freezing temperatures, you may be greeted with a “shit-sicle” – where your tanks and/or hoses are frozen solid. The joy.

Not all campsites are created equal. Camping life can often be compared to “roughing it in the woods” as the good old phrase goes. If you’re lucky enough to have a shower in your house on wheels, they’re incredibly small and difficult to use especially if you’re boondocking (no power, no extra water, no waste connection hook-ups to your rig; you are completely self-contained & self-sufficient).

Basically, you’re living primal-style out in the woods like our ancestor cavemen and cavewomen and surviving off the land. Sometimes you only end up showering once every week or two, because you’re traveling so much. And guess what, while some campgrounds have showers – not all do in the wilderness!

Occasionally, you’ll find a nicer shower to use if you pay for the very expensive RV resorts and KOAs. Honestly, most of your cheaper campsites do have a shower – albeit not very luxurious. Picture crouching low enough to fit under the midget-sized shower head, avoiding touching any of the ick of the walls, keeping an eye on that spider’s web & spider staring at you from the corner – all in an ill-lit (non-heated) “outhouse” for lack of a better term. Camp showers can be a real treat.

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The majority of RVs, campers, and motorhomes are just made to fall apart. No, I’m not joking … it’s a pretty common thing. Many, many, MANY of the campers and motorhomes of today are built so quickly that they just simply don’t have the same quality of most houses, or even the cars of today. Even if you spend a crap-ton of money on buying a brand new rig, expect it to have problems.

This doesn’t mean buying used is necessarily the better option. The previous owner may not have taken the best care of their vehicle, or fixed the problems that it had when it came off the lot. What’s worse is if you are full-time traveling and every few weeks you’re in a new state and not able to return to your original dealership to get work done – no one wants to do “free” warranty work if they don’t have to. It’s a whole complicated process sometimes. Be prepared to get very handy yourself! An emergency fund is a MUST.

The reality is van life is not always what you see on Instagram.
Behind the scenes of #vanlife.

I’ve learned that sometimes you just have to laugh about things in life … like when your radio literally blows up and catches on fire in a 6-month old RV. It leaves you questioning the workmanship of these rigs. Oh – and since warranty work takes forever to get done with most dealerships (think at least a six week waiting list) it’s just a whole hassle and headache.

So, $2,000 later, we skipped the warranty work and opted for a high-end radio with Apple Car Play capability in place of our original toxic waste of explosion that was installed by Ford and misleadingly called “a radio.” Plus, not to mention that we are full-time traveling so we can’t easily abandon our home on wheels for it to sit in a dealership’s lot waiting for work to be done – we love the outdoors but certainly prefer our bed over sleeping on the street.

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Van life can be expensive. Can it also be cheap and a cost effective way to live? Sure, that’s possible too. There are some options for FREE camping like boondocking on BLM land, Harvest Host (click our link here to get 15% off your membership with Harvest Hosts – they offer unique stays at wineries, farms, museums, and more!) or the good ole’ Walmart parking lot if you’re not picky.

Yes, there are ways to literally park your 1987 Chevrolet van down by the river (BLM land offers this frequently out West) and live for next to free if that’s what you want to do. Mad respect, no hate here my brother.

But, if you go the traditional route and stay at average run-of-the-mill state park campgrounds and the like, expect to pay $30-$45 per night of camping. Not too bad, right? But if you find yourself in a place like Arizona, California, or staying at KOAs and RV “resorts,” you can expect to pay more like $60-$80 per night on average. We’ve seen campgrounds charging over $120 per night for premium spots in highly sought after locations. If you’ve opted for a larger rig, expect to pay even more at every place you stay to accommodate the sheer size of your land yacht.

Camping fees alone can be expensive, not to mention that while you travel you will have to consider the cost to fill up with gas and propane as well. If you end up with a monthly payment on your rig, it can sometimes be close to a mortgage payment. Then, you’ll need insurance, of course. And let’s not forget about all of the maintenance items (remember RVs don’t typically have the highest build quality). Then factor in groceries, internet connectivity, cell phone bills, clothing, and all the other necessities you need – the dollars stack up QUICK. You need a budget!

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Van life is truly a “choose your own adventure” experience though; and there are, literally, thousands of different ways to camp and enjoy time outdoors. Whether you’re in a tent, million-dollar Prevost, a Subaru, or a travel trailer – we’re all here to camp, just in different boxes.


♫ Let’s talk about SPACE, baby. ♫

Are you absolutely in love with the HGTV-inspired DIY project that is your house now? The sprawling 2,000 square feet? Extra bedrooms you hardly ever use? How about the reading nook, loft, great master bedroom, hot tub, backyard, and all of the other spaces that you currently have? How about that three car garage that’s stacked to the ceiling with “yard sale” items and Christmas decorations from your childhood? Well, if you’re considering RV life, say goodbye to it all.

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A joke meme about people on HGTV.
A joke meme about people on HGTV.

Hey, I’m not hating – just stating facts. Your average house on wheels will not be much larger than 250 square feet. Yes, you heard me right – 2-5-0. This is probably the size of your current master bedroom if you’re an average American. Most campers are microscopic compared to our luxurious “mansions” of today. And they have to be this way in order to be safely driven down the highway and maneuver under bridges. Having a slide-out (or multiple slide-outs) can help greatly expand your living area but these come with a whole other can of worms worth of issues – and don’t expect more than 400 square feet, even with this addition.

Again, RV stands for RECREATIONAL Vehicle. RVs, motorhomes, and campers were never intended to be lived in and traveled with full-time. Sure, with the right perspective, you can live in just about anything.

While some models are insulated and more suited for forever living, they still aren’t a sticks-and-bricks home. Often campers are made with cheaper, lighter-weight materials, with the intention of decreasing your towing payload and gas mileage. Longevity is typically an afterthought, if considered at all. For example, our toilet, sink, and shower (things we use every day) are all made out of cheap plastic and have already had issues – oooohhh the luxury. Don’t just believe my opinion – here’s the same sentiment from another RV and travel blog.

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Out of Touch with Reality – a Van Life Nightmare

Here’s another fun reality for you millennials & Gen Zs: imagine not having internet or cell phone reception. Oh. my. God. That’s possible? Yes, there are still plenty of places that you can drive to and camp that will not have a speck of signal. Wi-Fi is most certainly out of the question a lot of the time as well.

WeBoost RV cell phone booster kit with antenna.

Surely in 2023, they have something to help, right? Sorta. We’ve been in spots where even with our fancy (and expensive!) cell signal booster and Wi-Fi ranger you still can’t connect to the outside world. Sometimes it’s just you, your travel partner (if you have one), and your dog. Imagine this – no internet, no TikTok, no Instagram, no Google maps, no texting or calls. You may be (forced) to connect with the nature around you or to have to talk to your camping companions via real face-to-face human interactions. Oh, the misery.

Woman hanging her head out the window trying to talk on the phone.
Sometimes you gotta hang out the window to find that magical bar of cell signal.
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Wrapping It Up:

Is Van Life as Glorious as Instagram Lets You Believe?

The short answer is – well, sorta. Just like anything, there is good and bad. Can it be incredibly enjoyable and look as pretty and glamorous as Instagram shows? Sometimes; but be prepared for plenty of “fun” along the way! You can’t have flowers without any rain – such is life.

My girlfriend and I standing with keys in my hand in front of our new RV.

Overall, selling my house, our cars, every piece of furniture, lawn equipment, and almost every worldly possession we had, was the best decision of our lives. This has been a meaningful stepping stone in my life, that has morphed into much, much more than just traveling the United States. We have learned how to live more simply, to appreciate the small things. We are experiencing all kinds of different cultures. We’ve eaten more than our fair share of new foods. We’ve seen some of the most incredible vistas and unique landscapes on the planet. And, we’ve grown closer together as a couple along the way – especially when the black tank sprayed its wonderful goop on us both. The memories, experiences, and joys of RV life do not have a monetary value. They’re priceless.

Would we recommend that everyone experience the world through travel like van life? Absolutely yes! Every single time. It’s worth it, even if you don’t think the lifestyle fits you – you’ll customize it to allow you to experience the world in new shades of beautiful. We hope to see you on our next adventure.

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Categories
Lifestyle

What is Missing?

I’m sure that not everyone reads mental health blogs and listens to the woes of therapy podcasts in their daily life. Huh, no one? Just me? Okay, it’s cool. So, I’m super interested in this stuff. And as I geek out consistently over how the brain has created alternate realities for every single one of us, it becomes apparent that we are all so different. Although, we do share one common goal in life – and that’s survival.

Whether you are having the time of your life partying it up on a crystal clear beach in Florida right now even though it’s winter, or whether you are stuck between a rock and a hard place; we’re surviving. [Breaks out into song] 🎵 We’re all in this together! 🎵 If you know where this song is from, I’ll make sure you get extra tax refund money back this year. 😜

Seriously though, we are all in different stages of life and what’s craziest is that we all come from different upbringings and backgrounds. Expecting other people to understand how you grew up and see your lifelong misery is often a futile endeavor.  Just to name a few: growing up in poverty, being a less privileged social class, no one in your family has ever gone to college, ignorance of economic education, and COVID-19, just to name a few things that can separate all of our understandings as human beings.

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Wherever you are in your walk of life, one thing becomes apparent – we all need to spend more time on our mental health. In this crazy day and age, you can go from what society considers a “normal” functioning person to full panic attack and mental break down in the blink of an eye. This stuff isn’t a joke – and certainly not to be messed with. I’ve seen it firsthand, as I’m sure others of you have too.

Another huge problem we face as a society is that we reward staying busy. If you work longer hours at your job, you’ll get paid more. If you continue to perform well in your duties, you’ll get a promotion. The more degrees and training you can take on, the more useful you can become as an employee. The more you sacrifice in your personal life – kids’ ball games, dance recitals, anniversaries and birthday parties – the better and more successful you will be with the capitalistic economy that we live under. Everything we do seems to be measured on a scale, like we are just a method of production. Also, as the years progress, computers and technology are replacing many everyday jobs that some of us take pride in doing. It’s difficult everywhere we look.

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So, what can we all do differently?

One of the most important things we need to do is focus on our mental health. And to do that, this will require putting a lot of new habits into place for most of us. It’s no surprise that we have evolved as a species of cavemen/women unto where we are now. Unfortunately, it does come as a surprise to find out that our brains are running on ancient technology – a stone tablet if you will. This is essentially the equivalent to a pre-historic Apple iPad, but without all the iCloud and Bluetooth features. I call it the stone phone, instead of the smart phone. Basically, a parchment with some letters, and it’s difficult to even make out the words because they have faded over the millennia. That’s how old the technology of our brain is. It hasn’t been able to evolve as well as the rest of the world has over time.

To explain a little more, let’s come back to our original point above about the need for survival. Our brain prioritizes survival, and this is an innate process embedded deep within us. As far back as pre-historic days, the most important process of the brain was to keep you safe. It was constantly searching for danger in the environment around you. If the brain didn’t keep you alive, well how would we have evolved as a species into the intelligent humans that we are now?

In olden times, if a bear appeared next to you in the jungle – your body would go into shock. Your mind would have the options of fight, flight, or freeze. You’ve probably heard this before, and it’s how your brain is programmed to keep you alive.

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The problem comes when we fast forward thousands of years to where we are now. I assume that many of us are not fending for our lives from bears and lions in the wilderness anymore. Although if you are, kudos to you. Keep it up, my jungle friends! Because our brain is still trying to run this script of code that is ancient technology, it hasn’t quite figured out how to adapt to the chaos of today. Science, technology, and infrastructure has shaped faster than our minds ever will be able to do. So, unfortunately, this leaves YOU as the only person who can train and prepare your mind for today’s problems. Lucky for you, there’s plenty of resources on the internet, in libraries, and here on our blog.

Anxiety is an alarm system

When your phone or clock buzzes in the morning, we know that you hit snooze a few times … and that’s okay! Anxiety functions in a similar way to this alarm that we are all used to. Some of the symptoms of anxiety are quicker breathing, faster heart rate, pain in your chest, panic attacks, intrusive or spiraling thoughts, and your logic system shutting off. This results in you being less logical and much more vulnerable and emotional. When you feel some of these indicators and start to think that you are having anxiety, stop there. Think to yourself why you would be feeling anxious and see if you can pinpoint the problem. This can be an extremely difficult process, so keep with it. The same way that it took falling off your bicycle with training wheels as a kid a few times to learn how to ride a bike applies here.

Learning new habits and processes are not easy and you must be patient. Practice writing down your thoughts and feelings when you feel anxious. Observe your environment and see if something has changed recently to cause an alarm bell within you. Maybe you are fast approaching a work deadline and your co-workers keep wanting to talk about their weekend plans. Politely tell them that you are busy and need to get a lot of work done. Even better, ask them for help with your deadline!

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You are not broken

Every single person on this planet has a similar brain structure and processes that you do. Although, our upbringing and phases of life do reshape how we think, believe, and the knowledge we hold. Anyone on this Earth can have anxiety or depression, even freaking President Joe Biden himself. No one can escape the importance of mental health and wellness. This is a very important piece of the puzzle – remember that you are not broken. You do not have to be isolated, alone, and you are also not the only one who is hurt. Look around you to the people you know, and even strangers on the street, everyone is struggling in different ways.

Look at COVID-19 as a historic example. Many, many people lost their jobs or their homes overnight. Factories and corporations shut down at the drop of a hat. If you were not prepared for any of this to happen, your world was probably shaken upside down – like many of us. One of the only things we can positively say that came out of the COVID pandemic is that mental health has been given a wonderful spotlight across news networks and social media.

Counseling therapy is important

The word therapy itself means, “treatment intended to relieve or heal a disorder.” The reality is that many of us are trying to pay the bills, have family, and just enjoy life. To do this, especially when mental health conditions appear within you, you need to get educated about this stuff. The great thing about counselors and therapists are that they can help you understand yourself, your mind, your trauma, and the brain very well. You don’t even have to get a college degree yourself to learn this wizardry!

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A counselor is basically a life coach who is in your corner rooting for you. They have years of psychology education, training and experience of various mental health conditions that you might have and can guide you through the dark when you need it the most. Get a counselor in your corner, even if they cost a lot for their help. Research your local area, and great resources online like BetterHelp.com. Often, you can get discounts through insurance and free session credits through EAP (Employee Assistance Program) if your job offers this.

Community is crucial to you

I am willing to admit right away that I suck at this one. I don’t have very many friends, and I have pushed away or outgrown a large part of the people who used to be in my life. These have been my own personal choices, and I have walked through the solitude that this can often bring with it. I am saying this to encourage others of you to realize that we are all human and make mistakes. Some of us are not very social and have to learn new skills to make friends.

A large part of building community around you is healing through your own personal trauma. You certainly don’t have to do this alone. This why counselors, therapists, family, and friends are there for you. It is difficult for any of us to hold the world on our shoulders and not to let the weight crush us slowly.

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As far back as science has been able to find, people have lived in communities. A large group of people would band together to create a tribe, and they would settle down in a practical area or travel together to new environments. If you always keep your mental woes trapped in your head, they will not have a healthy place within this world. Forming community allows us to discuss our problems together, lean on each other’s strengths, and to increase our chances of survival.

Medicine helps in times of need

Medicine often has a bad reputation, especially when it comes to scary words like anti-psychotics and anti-depressants. Those words are enough to scare even a child away from taking these kinds of medicines. Not to mention that medicines can be extremely expensive and difficult to get prescribed in the first place. Regardless of crappy health care and other related issues, medicine does exist as a last resort, or even a supplemental way to aid you. There’s nothing “bad” with taking medicine, especially when it does genuinely help you.

Drop the stigma and contact your general doctor, or a psychiatrist. The way that I like to explain medicine when it comes to mental health is that it can snip the strings of the heavy load that you are carrying around with you. Once it snips the strings, you can combine all of the other above processes (and new skills from counseling) to help you become successful.

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NAMI and Other Internet Resources:

National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) is a very important resource for mental health. You probably have noticed a few of the infographics I have placed on this blog, and they have all come from NAMI. They do magnificent research around mental health and work with health professionals from all over the world to help us fix this ongoing mental health crisis many of us face today.

National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) is another wonderful resource surrounding mental health. Government money helps aid this company with doing research, providing resources, and helping those in need – regardless of the problem.

Call 911 if you or someone you know is in immediate danger, or go to the nearest emergency room.

Call or text 988 to connect with a trained crisis counselor, who are available 24-hours a day when you need them most.

There are plenty of other resources out there, but these are a few of the most important that I have seen available for anyone to use.


The bottom line … YOU are worth being well

The funny thing is that if you look back up at the top of this blog, I was talking about the ways that success is measured in society. A few of these being long hours in the workplace, success in your career ladder, and even the freaking expensive car that you own. These are the things that society, TV, banks, and corporations want you to believe are important. So, maybe it’s time that you start putting what is important in front of you first. I’ll help you with this. Follow us on Facebook, Instagram, and everywhere else with the buttons below:

Our messages are always open, and we welcome anyone who needs help. That is the whole reason that we do this thing.

No Place Like Gone is a playground for documenting our travels, adventures, and educating everyone that we can reach with the knowledge that we are able to learn from around the world. We want your life to be high quality, and full of what you love the most. We want you to wake up in the morning always smiling for a new day. From my mind to yours, let me pour my insight into you. My name is Matt, and I thank you for reading my blog today. Good blessings to you all, my friends.

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Below are the infographic files from NAMI that have been used in this blog. Feel free to download them for yourself to send to your loved ones or anyone who needs these resources:

Below are other similar blogs that we have written:

Categories
Finance Lifestyle

Turn Your Car Payment into a Million Dollar Retirement

Audio version on Spotify.
Average car payment as of June, 2022 – Business Insider

Wow, that’s a headline huh … according to many studies, the average car payment of Americans is up over a record breaking $700 for the FIRST time in history. Not to mention that the average new car being sold now is around $47,000 off the dealership lot. Oh, and you have to pay all of these new “dealership markup fees” because of Covid-19. Let’s insert the awfully high prices of gas around the nation right now as well, being close to $4/gallon on average.

See, just a few years ago it used to be that you could finance a new car for 12, 24, 36, 48, and 60 months depending on various factors. Within just the last decade, the car loan term has expanded from 4-5 years to now 6-8 years being the standard practice. Because new and used car prices are at all time highs in history right now, lenders are taking advantage of capitalizing on more profit through interest. To the average person, buying a car seems easier because the price tags aren’t as important, but because the loan term can be reduced to a smaller and smaller monthly payment for flexibility.

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Ditch the Car Payment

The average car payment in America is close to $700/month and that leaves me in actual fucking awe. Maybe I’m just not the “average” person in America. I’m weird. Outside of the box. I’d rather pay much, much less for my car – and enjoy a hefty savings account. Better yet, invest a chunk of that money into my future retirement.

Did you know that an investment of $700/month could make MOST people a millionaire in their retirement? Because I did, and I’m here to share that knowledge with you.

Check out this retirement calculator by Ramsey Solutions. Even if you started at 42 years old (halfway to retirement from 18-67) with ZERO initial balance and invested $700/month, you’d become a millionaire in 25 short years. Don’t believe me? I’ll let the numbers do the talking!

The great thing about this calculator, and many others is that you can insert your age, monthly contribution amount, and see how much you’ll end up with! It works magic for anyone. Now I get it’s hard for most of us to just believe that this little calculator knows everything. Technology isn’t always right, or at least I’ve been told that.

Let’s put some actual facts into the equation.

The crazy thing is that this above calculation was almost worst case scenario ($700/month from ages 42-67). I’m not even factoring in the employer match that your job might offer. I’m not asking if you could save up more money, or work another job, to get more retirement money. I’m starting halfway to retirement at age 42 with the numbers. Imagine the money avalanche that you could have at retirement if you are 35, or 20 years old. The reality is, all you might have to do is ditch the car payment and drive an older beat up car. Ask yourself, why do we all need $40k cars anyway? Are we trying to impress society?

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Do You Want to Retire?

In a study recently, less than 1 in 4 Americans nearing retirement age believe that they will be able to retire comfortably. What does comfortable even mean in this crazy intense world nowadays? Generally accepted by many now is that you need 70-80% of your working salary income to enter retirement. This is affected by many factors including mortgage, bills, and whether you want to travel or stay local in your later years. You might even pick up an expensive hobby like golf – keep this all in mind when planning your retirement.

I personally don’t think waiting UNTIL retirement age (60’s) is a good plan for my retirement. I also don’t have the most enthusiasm in our government and their social security program to support me single-handedly in my elderly years.

So what’s your plan?

Regardless of your age, income, and other excuses, you CAN start today. You can choose to take control of your money, if that’s what you want to do. You can decide to retire in a beach house down south (Hey Florida!) if that’s what you want. Start dreaming about how you want your retirement to look – whether it’s 5 years away, or 40 years out.

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The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.

-Chinese Proverb

Once your goal is in place for retirement, make a plan. Can you drop your ridiculous car payment to set yourself up for the future? Can you skip the expensive coffee, or eating out a few times a month to help fund your financial future? I can. I am empowering people everyday to help do the same with their future.

Use my link here to get started with a retirement account on WeBull today. If you already have another retirement account, you are ahead of the game!

I highly recommend digging into these similar reads to keep you learning about and investing money:

Follow us on Instagram to keep in touch with our travels, here’s the latest posts:

Categories
Finance Lifestyle

Lifestyle Inflation

You see the neighbor’s sparkly blue BMW sitting out front of their mansion. You notice the new Mercedes they just bought their high school aged kid next. You have a choice of what happens next. Do you want to struggle to keep up with the Jones’?

It creeps up on most of us, and you have to be very careful. You get a nice promotion at work with a hefty raise. Your wife successfully launches her side business tutoring school kids on the weekends. You find yourself with more zeros on your bank account than you’ve ever seen. You have a choice of what happens next.

You see the neighbor’s sparkly blue BMW sitting out front of their mansion. You notice the new Mercedes they just bought their high school aged kid next. It’s getting hot out this Summer and you see them all kicking back and laughing out by the pool. You spend your own time mowing your lawn and doing landscaping almost every weekend to keep up a good curb appeal. But regardless of what you do, that pesky neighbor pays professionals to come out and spread grass seed, spray pesticides, and mow their yards. What is this, the freaking Biltmore House? You have a choice of what happens next.

With your new wealth, you could start paying for a better lifestyle. You could look cool like your neighbors do, at a cost. Everything comes at a cost. Part of this cost is that you are comparing yourself to your neighbor. This could be a lack of confidence. Jealousy. Or it could just be lifestyle inflation, creeping up in your mind. “Well I make more money now, I can afford nicer things.” You have a choice of what happens next.

See, I intentionally ended the last three paragraphs with the same line.

“You have a choice of what happens next.”

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Powerful. I’ve learned that we get caught up in the small details. You make more money now, so you can afford more things right? Your neighbor has better things than you, well it must be time to keep up with the Jones’. But why?

Why can’t you make more money and keep the same old things you already have? Because you think you deserve better. Because capitalism and our culture teaches us that we all deserve nice and shiny new things ALL of the time. We all deserve the best. Even YOU can afford a nice BMW with the right financing terms. Marketing makes it seem like all of us can join the wealthy elites with the right utilization of debt.


Flip the Coin

You don’t have to play into lifestyle inflation. Do you know what you can achieve by keeping new found money in your possession? I do. If you manage to keep those greedy car companies, furniture stores, and other consumer products away, that can be powerful.

Imagine living the same life you have been, without purchasing a lot of new things. You could find contentment within the present. You don’t need a new car, a larger house, or a bigger ego. Imagine that.

Contentment is a process, a journey, and a way of life. Can you be content with less things than someone else has? Can you find happiness not within things – but within people and memories? Because I can. I know this exists, and I’m writing about these stories every day. I’m seeing people who walk this life every day. Financial minimalism can be achieved for anyone – who is willing to seek it out.

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See, I also left out a key detail about that pesky neighbor we talked about earlier. They have the sprawling mansion, a BMW, the Mercedes, and a pool. Plenty of other things too that you could only dream of having one day. But they are struggling financially. They have so much debt that I’m convinced the father sold some organs to afford those things. They sit up at night wondering how they’ll afford the next thing. Their kid is spoiled and hasn’t learned the meaning of money. The mother and father argue to the point that their marriage is in jeopardy next. Does this look like the life you want?

Happiness doesn’t equal things. Do you really want to strive to be them? The material possessions will not improve your life. Buying too many things and living beyond your means often comes with a hefty price tag.


What Does Moving Forward Look Like?

Decide what’s important to you. Do you want to put your family in jeopardy by buying too many consumer products? That’s exactly what can happen when you let a mountain of debt rack up higher than your bank account. Prosperity, which is the counter-opposite of struggling with debt, would look a whole lot better for your children one day.

Set your values. Are you the type that wants to never use debt again? If you are, start today. Cut those credit cards up, stop watching TV commercials, and run the opposite way of retail shopping. Anything in life starts with intentionality. Then you can build up over time from baby steps, to larger steps, of living and breathing a healthier air.

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Regardless of which direction you choose to go in, remember that living beyond your means is not sustainable. Just because your neighbor or someone else has nice things, does not mean you need to compete with them. This also appears that they look good on the outside, but you don’t know how they are truly doing on the inside. Maybe you want nice things like they have, but you can choose to not go in debt over your head for them.

No matter how many things you own, you have to live with yourself. Do you want to own a lot of things, and be struggling financially? Or would you rather not own anything, and be able to smile and breathe normally? You can set the example for your children.

Here are some related reads that I highly recommend:

Categories
Lifestyle

Things I Learned From Therapy

I felt like I was in a rut for quite a long time. Unfortunately, I felt trapped. I worked crazy long hours thinking that the harder I worked, the more I sacrificed, the more sanity I lost – it was truly worth it. But for what? Autopilot is the mode that I was set on, believing that I was a money making machine for a company, with no other goals of my own. I didn’t have many hobbies (outside of video games), nor did I care to get out and make friends, or try new things. After dating in my early 20’s I finally met my lovely girlfriend of almost two years now. She helped me realize that I was sabotaging myself and sinking bit by bit. Fast forward more and my mother lined me up with an excellent therapist she found, so I took a leap of faith.

I had never recognized myself as a person who needs therapy. Sure, I wasn’t happy in a lot of areas of my life. However, I kept feeling like if I could keep producing at my career and also clear levels in video games, then I couldn’t go wrong. I was constantly progressing, even if only on digital screens. I literally became a machine, turning off emotion and feelings so that I could complete my projects by their deadlines. I didn’t have much of a social life. The average person looking in at me would probably realize how weird and struggling I was, but I just couldn’t bring myself mentally to ask for help. Whether it was medicine, counseling, or divine intervention, I didn’t think it would cure me. You might know someone else like this or find yourself in the same boat as me. Hear me say: You Are Drowning.

There’s always a storm coming. Are you well enough to weather the next one?

Medicine Breaks the Cycle

Having self-deprecating habits and vicious thoughts in your head for a prolonged period of time can lead to mental health issues. You’ve heard of the most common: anxiety, depression, eating disorders. What most people don’t understand is that your thoughts and mentality are the commanders in charge of your body. If you constantly hear negative thoughts or have spiraling anxiety, it’s no wonder why you are in a depressive fog. Take the time to acknowledge it if this is you. Even watch the people around you to check their well-being. The crazy thing is that no one ever really teaches you about mental health unless you decide to research it yourself or get in touch with a therapist.

Shown are various versions of mental illnesses that people may suffer from.

Medicine like anti-depressants, anti-psychotics, and mood stabilizers are commonly prescribed by doctors. It is the belief by many that medicine won’t fix you, and you also wouldn’t want to take a “crazy drug.” I get it, I felt the same way. I take a few medicines now, and I still feel the same way. Let it be known that medicine will not fix you. So what’s the point?

If you continue to follow through with the same actions but expect a different outcome, that is the definition of insanity. The aforementioned medicines serve as a pair of scissors, safely snipping the wire between negative thoughts and your brain’s imbalance of chemicals. Further reading on how this works here. Once the cycle has been stopped, or at least slowed down in most cases, you can finally get to work on improving. Again, medicine will not fix you. However, it is a stepping stone that many people have to approach so that they can get well in the long term.

This is a chart showing commonly used psychiatric medicines for mental health. Educate yourself about them, and all of their side effects. Ask your doctor for info.

It goes without saying that you should always ask your doctor about all benefits, risks, and side effects that any medicine has before you take it. Not every medicine works for every person. Be careful and educate yourself on what you are prescribed, what it does, its side effects, and why you are taking it.

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Counseling Teaches You Improvement

We’ve all seen the corny movie scenes of a person sitting in a room with a hot therapist talking about their feelings. Yeah, that’s not real life. Thanks Hollywood. I would argue that many peoples’ beliefs about counseling is that they talk about their problems, get it out, then move on. That’s only a fraction of the purpose. This is important. You will not fix your marriage by going to one counseling session, screaming your feelings at a therapist, and then going back home to continue your same old behaviors with your spouse anyway.

You will not fix your marriage by going to one counseling session, screaming your feelings at a therapist, and then going back home to continue your same old behaviors with your spouse anyway.

No Place Like Gone, 2022

The main purpose of counseling is so that you can educate yourself on mental health, learn new processes, and grow as a person towards a better version of you. We all have things that we can work on, and I will never believe that anybody is perfect. Counseling works a little different for everyone, depending on how resistant you are to change. It usually takes going for at least a few sessions, talking about your feelings, realizing that you actually want to change, hearing your therapist when they teach you new behaviors to practice, and finally you implementing these changes into your life. Now hear me say that it takes patience. You will not get it the first time. Or the second. Think back to when you learned to ride a bicycle, or swim, or play an instrument. It took many times of falling off of that bicycle so that you could learn enough motor coordination as a child to learn how to balance and peddle in tandem. Learning anything in life is no different.

Use therapy as a chance to be heard with your feelings, but also soak up all of the practical advice that they have. Take notes down in a notepad as you speak with your counselor. This is serious. It’s just like sitting back in class when you were in grade school or college. Only this time, this is THE MOST important subject that you can learn in the world – you! Ask your therapist for practical tips and things that you can try differently with your life, behavior, and actions. Therapy is about you getting the help that you need, not your therapist just asking you questions for an hour every session.

Purposes of Counseling:

  • Having a confidential partner to talk to
  • Letting a trained professional speak into your life
  • Assessing your thoughts, habits, behaviors, and actions
  • Implementing a plan to become well mentally
  • Changing your view of people, the world, and life
  • Learning new skills of communication, how to cope, grief and forgiveness, understanding your thoughts and emotions better
  • Finding the resources and people that you need in your life
  • Processing trauma and powerful events in your life
  • Becoming a more positive and healthy YOU

It’s also important to note that not every therapist is the right match for you. It may take you some time to find the one that fits your style just right. Luckily, I struck gold on the second time and am blessed for that. Remember that going to counseling is about helping you improve, so don’t waste your time if it doesn’t feel right. But you definitely need to keep trying. No matter the stakes.


I’d like to take some time to mention Better Help. They are an excellent online community of licensed therapists, counselors, and psychiatrists willing to help you no matter where you live in the country (United States specifically). Currently, I am in no way affiliated with Better Help, but I have heard from multiple people that I know that this program can be excellent for new people discovering counseling. Their programs are quite affordable, between $60 and $90 per weekly session, which is compared to the average of $200-$400 for a typical counseling sit-down session in your local town’s mental health practice. Check them out here, to begin your journey now to getting well, from the safety of your home in this crazy world.


Community Keeps You Connected

There are times when you want to fall off of the wagon. Yes, that’s an old person saying but there is a reason that old people get to live to such an old age! They have wise life advice radiating out of them like a fountain. Arguably one of the best systems to keep you connected to getting well is a community. As a species, we have evolved from creatures that gathered in tribes, fought wars, struggled and survived together. No one wants to be left to survive alone.

Find your local community willing to stand next to you. We are social creatures.

Plug in to a community near you. It may be people your age, or different. People who like doing things that you like doing. Find a local hiking group, sewing club, or business development workshop. The important thing is finding people who accept you and who want to be around you. These people over time will want to protect you like you protect them. You become indoctrinated into the music tribe, the swimming tribe, the old cat lady tribe, or whatever it is! These people are the ones that can hold your hand when the nights get dark. When you want to skip the medicine because you are out of hope. When you quit trying to love yourself because you feel worthless. Look to this community of people that you are building to speak into your life.

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You are your worst critic, and therefore you will drag yourself down into a bottomless pit of sorrow if you do not grab a hand fast. Having loved ones, friends, colleagues, a mentor, all help to position yourself not to fail next time. You will make mistakes, you will miss taking medicine one day, you might skip practicing good behaviors, and fall off of the deep end quickly. Let others be there to help when you need it most. Lean on them, “because in counsel there is safety.” Humanity functions best when we are connected and working towards the same goal of survival together.

Lean on them, “because in counsel there is safety.”

Proverbs 11:14 – the Bible (KJV)

On the other side, be the light at the end of the tunnel for others if they need you by their side. Everyone is struggling in a different way. It may be under the surface of all of those smiles and laughs that you find the truth about them. Always be kind, and allow yourself to love.

Mental Health Must Be Treated Like Physical Health

Many people have the impression that you just are who you are. You can’t change, or improve. You’ll always be Chuck from New Hampshire, with the same old car and the same old behaviors. This is not true. When you gain weight, you may experience various health conditions related to that. When you go to the doctor they will tell you to exercise, get on a diet, and try this appetite-suppressing pill. If you have the willpower to stick through a tough regimen, you will undoubtedly come out healthier and happier on the other side.

Mental health is no different. People want to separate physical health, mental health, spiritual health and tackle them in order of what is the easiest thing to do (most of the time). But we as a society have a bad picture of this. Consider your body like a piece of machinery, let’s say a car just like you drive to work everyday. Without a working engine, the car won’t move. Without gas in the tank, the car won’t move. Without a working computer chip, the car won’t move. I know this is an abstract way of explaining this, but treat your wellbeing the same.

Physical + Emotional + Mental + Social + Spiritual Health = The Best YOU!

Your brain is a muscle which should be fed knowledge, books, and positive behaviors and actions to keep it healthy. Your body is composed of complex systems that need a balanced diet, but not in excess of too much food. Working out is crucial to your physical fitness, but also has phenomenal effects for your mind as well. You also have to change behaviors or make new lifestyle choices because of your age at times throughout life. Your spiritual health must be what your soul desires, based off of your belief systems, and so that you can feel peaceful inside. But all of these pieces of the puzzle work together to create who YOU are. Never separate them again.

When you feel sad or depressed, see your doctor or find a local psychiatrist. When a loved one passes away, or you lose a job, see a counselor immediately. These things need to be processed, so that your mind will not veer off into the shadow realm of negative. If you don’t feel like getting out of bed everyday (who does honestly?) then maybe you are burned out or feeling lost without purpose. Find a psychiatrist that can help regulate your biochemical imbalances. Trust me, every little step matters. Rome wasn’t built in a day, or by one single person either. You aren’t in this alone.

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Self Improvement – Other Options

There are dozens of mental health podcasts, books, documentaries, Ted Talks on Youtube, and so much more to find. Whether you have severe anxiety or have been diagnosed with a serious label by a licensed psychologist, there are resources out there to help you. Ask your counselor or psychiatrist for any options they can provide you. Also do your work to find your own systems that work. I also don’t recommend getting your mental health advice from TikTok (sorry gen-Z’s).

Here’s an excellent TedTalk video on the views of stress, and how anyone can combat it:

How to Make Stress Your Friend – Kelly McGonigal (via TedTalk on YouTube)

For me, I found a few different mental health podcasts that I enjoy listening to online. They really dig deep, and you basically get to listen to a counselor walking through trauma and actionable steps with a person in the same boat as you! The one I recommend the most undoubtedly to anyone is the John Delony Show on YouTube. John holds two PhD’s, one in higher education, and the other in psychology. He worked for years as the Director of Students for a university, and also was on call at all hours of the day to serve as a trauma response superhero. I had the pleasure of meeting him just recently at his show in Nashville, TN.

Dr. John Delony (far left) and Dave Ramsey (far right). Why are we so short?

Another podcast on Youtube that I highly recommend is Healthy Gamer GG. He gives great advice to various content creators on the platform, all live and raw for you to listen to and process through. There’s also plenty of books that can help educate you about mental health, I’ll leave a few below:

In Conclusion

At the end of all of this, know that you are worth being well. Also know that whatever you choose to do moving forward, you will always follow you. You can continue to carry baggage, pain, suffering, and mental health conditions around with you like a pet. Or you can work on positive change every single day. It’s not easy, but it will always be worth it at the end of all of this.

PS: Please send this blog to someone that you know. They could be struggling today, or they know someone who is. We are in this together.

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Charity

I have chosen to donate $100 of my own to NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) – and below is a fundraiser for additional support that I will send to them. For every $1 that is donated, I will match it with another $1 of my own (on top of the base $100 that I am donating). Please feel no pressure to do this yourself unless you decide that you want to. You can also donate directly to NAMI here.

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Lifestyle

Choose Your Beliefs

All across the world, countless people are believing different stories that they have been told. Whether they are born a different color than another person, speak a different language, or don’t have access to the same education as others due to their home location. Beliefs truly shape our perspective of how we see life every single day. Sometimes we take these for granted, especially if you are part of a more fortunate social class. Regardless of where you fit on the social spectrum, keep reading to empower yourself with the ability to live a better life, free of chains, and by choosing your own beliefs this time.

Beliefs typically can come from those closest to us: our family, our friends, and our local community. Beliefs can also push their ways into your life by interactions on the internet these days! Wow, technology… (welcome to the internet, where one idiot can say anything dumb and millions of people believe it without question!) It is ultimately up to you to cultivate the life that you want to live, and with the principles that you stand for. The problem is that not many people tell you this throughout your life. It’s a slippery slope of misinformation.

Sure, you’ve probably heard one of the most common sayings, “If you believe something enough, it will eventually come true.” However, most of us never take the time to step back and understand what this actually means. Hell, even I thought this was just motivational jargon for the longest time. Only recently am I seeing the blinding light at the end of the tunnel. What could possibly be so powerful about being positive, or believing in something whole heartedly? Envision yourself leaning full force into a new belief system and changing your legacy, because it does exist.

I was speaking with a friend recently who has a Masters degree in Psychology, and also holds multiple certifications beyond that. She specializes in dog behavioral training and specifically aggression (you can find her on her website Horizon Dogs). We were talking purely psychology, because I’m a learning freak. I mean really, who doesn’t want to understand how to read minds? Anyways, I asked her the question, “I’ve heard that being told something over and over until the point of you actually accepting and believing this as true about yourself is a problem. This can lead someone down into the depths of hopelessness and depression. What causes this, and why does it feel like they are hopeless once they believe something like this so strongly? Like being told they will never find a better job because they aren’t educated enough, and will never be able to afford the opportunity to either,” as a crude example.

Her response summarized was that once a person believes something so strongly, it inherently becomes part of their identity. Once this acceptance of the identity happens, the person will not be able to see an alternative to this identity belief for themself. Combined with the brain’s job of keeping you alive, it typically only fixates on the bad that happens so that it can alert you when to look out for danger. Rarely does the brain look for good things to happen. If it did constantly look for good, then you would never know when danger is coming at you, like a bear! Once you are stuck in a bad identity crisis, your brain will continue the cycle of warning you about bad after bad, which can lead you down the road of anxiety, stress, depression, and more. This is typically where you see mental health conditions surface (not sure what other word to use here) within a person, because their identity closely ties into what your biochemistry produces. Your amygdala responds in a way that shocks your body into fight or flight, which is all part of our ancient anatomy system. Once this happens, your brain solely prioritizes survival which leads to the focus of your neurochemistry network producing adrenaline, cortisol, and other stress chemicals. Because of this, your body also will begin to stock pile fat, which is the reason that most people gain weight when they are depressed or at rock bottom, so to speak. In return, your neural network stops producing things like serotonin and dopamine like it used to. Now, your brain limits your feelings of happiness and pleasure consistently. Essentially, your brain has alerted your body that its time to survive, and all of the bad will continue to cycle through your head until eventually you embrace medical intervention or counseling treatment to interrupt this vicious cycle.

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Woah. Line break. Take a breather. Don’t forget to hydrate. Insert cool G-fuel sponsor that I don’t have, but totally need.

Pulling back from the super specific science behind what I just said, it’s important to realize that your beliefs will change the way your brain and body respond to the world around you. There’s countless research studies out there that mention people who are stressed, or always fighting an uphill mental battle with things like depression, will end up living shorter lives. Hear me say that there is ZERO benefit to being angry, sad, or in freak out mode every day. It is your job to focus on your wellbeing, and that includes mental health. Also, here’s a quick video to challenge your view of stress.

If you haven’t connected with a counselor, psychiatrist, or even a doctor, let this be your sign that it is finally time to do just that. I’ll also mention an AMAZING RESOURCE to help you with your perspective of anxiety. Dr. John Delony’s book: Redefining Anxiety, What It Is, What It’s Not, and How to Get Your Life Back.

In this book, Dr. Delony does an amazing job of explaining what anxiety is, how to change your perspective of anxiety, and how to make peace with it in the future. He also has another great book worth checking out for everyone, but he hasn’t paid me enough to mention that one (joking).

Now, let’s move on to productive things that can help you right away.


1. Choose Your Community

What benefit would you get from being around negative people all of the time? The only people that can seriously enjoy being talked down to are not mentally stable. Read that sentence again. This person would surely have low self esteem, and not think much of themselves.

It is undoubtedly your responsibility to go out and cultivate the community that you want to be around. They say that you become like the five closest people that you spend the most time with. So why spend this time with negative people who bring you down? Don’t. Get out and find a group of people who work on furthering themselves. Who see themselves as strong, capable, and healthy. Just because you grew up in a “small town” doesn’t mean you have to keep the same lethargic friends around you forever.

This goes doubly the same with family. Not all family members are positive, and sometimes they can be the worst perpetrators. Your family is generally brutally honest with you. Because of this, they may say things like, “You’ll never be able to live out your dream. It’s just not realistic. You should get a stable job like plumbing, or another trade.” You always hearing things like this aren’t healthy for your belief system.

Go to new places: church, meetups for young professionals, the library, and anywhere else where you can find the people that you most want to be like! I will not listen to the excuse that you are stuck being who you were born to be. No one is stuck being anyone that they do not want to be. Get out and change!


2. Select Your Location

Now I get this will be controversial among different groups. Not everyone can just pick up their life and move to a more prosperous side of town. Especially when you don’t make a lot of money, or have a difficult life situation. I get it, I’m not beating up on anyone in these unfortunate situations.

If you can find a better job, take it. If you can work a second or third job, do it. I just simply don’t buy that you “can’t” get out of poverty in most cases. Yes you live in a bad side of town, yes your family doesn’t have much, yes you were lead to believe that you can’t become anyone in life because of a poor generational mindset in your family. This is a lie. Excuses are easy to make, actions are hard to replicate. Get out there today with a plan to better yourself. This is your life. Don’t settle for anything less.

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Spend a period of your life saving up money by working every minute that you possibly can. I know it’s hard, but it’s only temporary for a better future. I mean really, ask yourself this. Are you really furthering your life by sitting around and drinking every weekend with friends? Are you getting raises at work by being distant with your employer, and always calling out because you just don’t want to be there?

As soon as you can, set your sights on a new part of town, new city, or new state that has what you are looking for. More opportunities, better pay, less cultural setbacks; make this your life goal. And lean on your community if they are willing to help you. No one has to do life alone, and you can be in good company with the right motivated people.

Story time! I worked with a guy who was born into a bad part of town, his family was in poverty, and he didn’t know any better as a teenager. He just simply didn’t have the circumstances or opportunity to further himself with his current lifestyle. So, he found the right couple people in his life and once he turned 18, he packed his bags and left home with only $200 to his name. He took buses as far as he could, almost 2 hours away to a larger metropolitan area. He found a factory job paying better than anything would have in his home town. He lived with multiple people he had met, cutting his rent into a fraction of the cost. He put himself into technical college to learn mechanical engineering and schematic drafting. After that, he’s happy with a wife and kids, and a great salary to afford anything he wants now. He didn’t sit around and complain about how crappy his life was. He didn’t wait on the government or Joe freaking Biden to give him a handout. He knew what he wanted, and he went and got it.


3. Decide What You Believe

At the end of the day, there are good people and bad people. You can not control what others decide to do. But you can control yourself. By setting up your community and a better location, you’re gaining traction. Now it’s time to lay down your belief systems and re-write them. Do you really believe that you can’t go to college for the dream job that you’ve always wanted? Have you even applied to any colleges? Have you done any research to see what it takes to get into college?

Today, start with speaking to someone close to you that you absolutely trust. Whether they are family, a friend, or a mentor. Let them pour into you good knowledge. Not that negative bull crap that only sets you back more in life. You need to always be moving forward, not backward. Claw and scratch your way into that opportunity that you’ve always wanted, if that’s what it takes. And it doesn’t have to be college, but that’s just an example. Were you told that you can’t amount to anything? Lay that down. It’s too heavy for you to carry now, unless you are John Cena. Do you truly believe that you will always work at fast food restaurants? Why can’t you go work somewhere different? Why can’t you go learn a new skill by working for someone else?

Now is the time to lay down all of those false realities that you have allowed yourself to believe for far too long. Now, it’s time for you to believe what you decide is right for your life. Do you want to go into college and become a nurse, a lawyer, or start practicing a trade like carpentry? Now is the time. Do you dream of a large beautiful ranch house with plenty of land, but never thought it was possible because of your family situation growing up? That’s in the past. You get to believe in what you want to believe now. And you will achieve more as you set your mentality on the prize. Dreams do come true.


In Summary:

It doesn’t matter where you came from, how you were brought up, or what you believe. That all changes today, tomorrow, and the next day. Find a therapist that will question your beliefs and strip down your thought processes. Put the past in the past. Set down those bricks that are too heavy to carry. Find a thriving community of people, new location with boundless opportunities, and let your beliefs run wild. Instead of putting every idea down with a negative thought of, “I can’t”, decide to start saying, “How can I achieve that?”

I wish the best for you all.

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Lifestyle travel

Turtle Season! 🐢

The year is 2022, and I’m not sure what the hell is going on with American politics anymore. Regardless, 4th of July is always a great time to party and drink a lot… I mean, celebrate the freedoms we have here in America! We invite you to come along on our journey!

Happy Birthday America – original song by NoPlaceLikeGone

We spent our week dressed in red, white, and blue at the beautiful Edisto Beach State Park located on Edisto Island, SC. We don’t have enough to say about this lovely, quaint place. As a South Carolina resident myself, I’ve actually never been to Edisto. Traditionally, I’ve vacationed at Myrtle Beach or Charleston because of the vast amount of things to do in these places. They are super touristy, and if you’ve ever been there then you know! Sometimes it’s nice to really take a step back and relax away from the craziness of the world. Especially in these “dark” times (considered by many…). Edisto Beach might of just been the place for us!

The second we got into the campground, we were enjoying beautiful views of the marshlands, and could hear the ocean right near by. Our spot actually had a point right on the marsh where we could sit out and let Luna (our puppy) play! Instant highlight for us. She’s a Chesapeake Bay Retriever mixed with a Labrador Retriever, and let me just say that she loves water and hunting any type of bird or duck. We had campsite #74 which is right at the entrance of the beach campground, across from the Camp Host. If you don’t know, a Camp Host is someone who typically volunteers to help campers as they come into the campsite with any questions or information, often in return for themself getting to stay free on the campground for weeks, or months at a time. Unfortunately, we didn’t have the common sense to look at the map and drove around aimlessly looking for our spot which we passed multiple times! It happens.

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Campsite #74 – Has a point right on the marsh!

Oh, another thing I should mention, CRABS! 🦀 There are hundreds of those little pinchy monsters. You will discover that they live all over the marsh and at most of these sandy campsites. Luna spent the majority of her time chasing them like the hunter that she is. I will say a good thing about the crabs is that they scatter the second you get near them. This is a major upgrade over ants 🐜 and constant annoying bug bites at other places that we are used to being at!

Pinchy pinch Mr. Krabs. PS: Luna did not eat this one.

If you have dogs and are worried about fireworks here during the 4th or New Years, we didn’t hear a single firework. They truly take the rules seriously here. HUGE WIN! They did have a fighter jet fly over by the military, and a golf cart parade going on. Again, no crazy BOOMS for the doggos.

Don’t get me started about the beach. WOW doesn’t even do justice for this one. If you are tired of tourists and being crowded on your vacation, Edisto Beach State Park has over a mile of private beach you can enjoy. No tourists and hardly anyone there (even during the 4th of July!) If you are used to beaches like Myrtle Beach, SC or Panama City Beach, FL then you know that crowded is an understatement. Spring Breakers come to these places quite often to PARTAY! We did not get that vibe with Edisto even in the slightest.

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Another super exciting thing to us is that Edisto Beach is known for turtle nesting. From the months of May-October you can walk down the beach and see hundreds of Loggerhead turtle nesting areas. There are local DNR and Turtle rescue volunteers (I know what you’re thinking, no not Ninja Turtles) that help track and locate all nesting sites where proud mama turtles lay their eggs.

Typically they do a guided tour at night to walk the beach and witness all of the turtle nest areas, with the chance of seeing baby turtles hatching and making their first journey into the ocean. Although they were not doing the tours while we were there, because it was only certain days of the week. We took things into our own hands and went out at 2am with our red light and walked the beach for an hour looking for baby turtles. I think we found one site that was close to hatching because of how it was staged by DNR, but no luck actually seeing them!

Hundreds of these nesting spots can be found on Edisto Beach

Let me say, it honestly felt like ghost hunting this late at night with a tiny red light in the darkness. Definitely do not recommend this to the feint of heart. Not to mention that the moon was behind the clouds, and there’s no ambient lighting anywhere. Total. Darkness. Except. You. And. The. TURTLES! That we didn’t see. We will be back to find them!

2am turtle hunting – it’s Spooky Season!

In Conclusion – Edisto Beach

We have nothing but great things to say about Edisto Beach, especially if you crave the most natural experiences possible. There isn’t a ton of touristy things to do like rides, shopping, or museums in our experience. However, you will enjoy your well sought after relaxation nonetheless. We hereby name Edisto as a word meant for natural relaxation, baby turtles, and pure Southern beach bliss.

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Lifestyle

Things Aren’t Enough

I hope every day by telling my stories and life experiences, that I may enrich others with advice and life skills to help them become better people. That’s the ultimate goal. We’re all in this game of life, together.

We’re all in this game of life, together.

No Place Like Gone, 2022

I thought by buying video games that I could make up for my childhood. I thought by hoarding things that I had accumulated over the years that I could keep every memory I’ve experienced since birth. Why? I constantly found myself walking into the same stores weekly to look for something to purchase – again and again. Never-ending. It was affecting me more than I ever truly wanted to realize.

When did I start believing that the more things I accumulated, the happier that I would become? A false pretense, for sure. To leave things short winded, I had a bumpy childhood with the whole family situation. Not to mention that becoming a teenager is already hard on its own. Jesus, have you ever been in a middle school? You’d think they were capable of overthrowing the government, if given the power!

A fairly accurate description of middle schoolers when they hear the bell for lunch.

I began to play video games and isolate as often as I could. Only now am I realizing at 26 years old that this was the case. I used video games as an escape, and I began to see people as threats. Why was this happening?

An anomaly that is impossible to explain are mental illnesses with the human brain. Scientists around the world continue to study its’ processes and why illness occurs, but it’s often difficult to pinpoint. Although, it’s universally accepted that we begin to experience things like depression or OCD because of certain life events. Most often when the brain can’t create a solution for something that it is not used to, it will develop mental conditions irregular to you. This still doesn’t explain why I found myself wanting more things, to replace black holes within myself.

So, I set out searching for an answer. Why aren’t things enough? I keep buying more, and my house is filling up. My video game collection is stacking up. Money is going out the door faster than I can make it. What was I missing?

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I only recently in the last few months began to see a therapist. I also have been listening to a mental health podcast, and reading material in my leisure. Looking back, I don’t regret any of these decisions. Regardless of what you are struggling with, it always will help to have a professional in your corner. I was skeptical for a long time that anything was even wrong with me. Surely I’m fine. I get up and go to work every day. I’m hardworking and diligent, but I wasn’t happy. It took a lot of introspection and working with others to locate my flaws. Trust me, they were deep under the surface. Most of us don’t have the skills required to dig deep into our consciousness and solve trauma or deep-rooted behaviors. That’s where therapy and getting educated comes into play.


A resource that I highly want to recommend to everyone is the book Own Your Past, Change Your Future by John Delony. Delony is a national best-selling author and part of the Ramsey Solutions team. He also has a mental health podcast and radio show broadcasted across America multiple times a week. With a distinct background in education and psychology, he holds two PhD degrees and many certifications beyond that.

Own Your Past, Change Your Future by John Delony

In the book, he speaks about how to recognize your current life situation. No matter where you come from or how your struggles affect you, he gives a step-by-step approach of healing from them and moving forward into your brighter future. I can’t recommend this book and his content any quicker. It will definitely aid you in your journey.


One of the most common things that keeps coming up is that I need connections. I needed friends. I neglected keeping in touch with people. From high school, college, the gym, I hardly kept up with anyone. I began to weaponize people and create excuses everywhere I looked. “Wow this asshole could of put his grocery cart back at the return area instead of leaving it in a parking space.” I began to believe that I hated people. “If people acted more like me then society would be so much better!” I continued creating every myth that I could, placing myself on a pedestal and allowing myself to hate humankind.

So why did I fixate on things? I’ve learned from therapy that things became an obsession for me because I thought that they would replace my incessant need for people. I thought that having more things would bring me safety and prosperity. I truly believed that I could plow through life without anyone in my corner cheering me on. These objects became my “friends” and they never let me down. After all, they can’t speak. They also can’t promise to hang out with you, then not show up. Wow, that’s deep. As I’m writing this, I can feel it. Hopefully this strikes a cord with you too.

I’ve also learned that money is a tool that you can use for good or bad. It allows you to spend money on things to your heart’s content. Money is one of the controllable things that you can make from working. Then you can control it and allow yourself to receive instant feedback. What I mean is, if I work 40 hours at X job, I know I’ll get paid Y amount of money. With Y money, I can buy Z thing. The amount of control that you can feel from spending money on any number of things is powerful. All of these letters makes this feel like Algebra class…


After all of the dust is settled, I have one last thing to say. If you are struggling with anything right now, seek out help. I’ve provided a few resources and examples throughout this read.

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