Tag: mental health

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Adventure self help

Ecopsychology: A Catchy Gen-Z Word or New Field of Science?

Nature has a unique way of making us feel refreshed and alive. Spending time in the great outdoors can have numerous benefits for our physical, mental, and emotional wellbeing. Being in nature, we are able to unplug and reconnect with a more primal & simplistic state of being. Today, we’re going to talk about Ecopsychology and some of the top benefits of spending time in nature outside. Continue reading to learn how the great outdoors can be more effective than many of your prescription medications.

Estimated time to read:

6–9 minutes

Table of Contents:

  1. What is Ecopsychology?
  2. Nature Can Do Many Things, So Let’s Explore its Benefits:
    1. Reduces Stress and Anxiety
    2. Improves Physical Health
    3. Boosts Immune System
    4. Enhances Creativity
    5. Provides Mental Clarity
  3. Wrapping Up:

What is Ecopsychology?

Ecopsychology is a word for “the study of nature and how it affects the human mind.” We’ve learned in the last 10+ months while full-time traveling in a RV that there’s nothing that even comes close to comparing with nature. You can take prescription meds, read self-help books, go to therapy, practice gratitude daily, etc. and then adding in time with nature will make you feel even better.

Research done by Yale University, showed that time in nature — as long as people felt safe in their environment — was an antidote for stress. Spending time outdoors can lower blood pressure and stress hormone levels, reduce nervous system arousal, enhance immune system function, increase self-esteem, reduce anxiety, and improve mood.

There’s a reason tree roots look like the nerves in the brain.

In other studies done by the American Psychological Association it was discovered that a simple stroll through a city park or a day spent hiking in the wilderness can be extremely beneficial. Their studies showed that exposure to nature was linked to improved attention, lower stress hormones, overall better mood, reduced risk of psychiatric disorders and even upticks in empathy and cooperation.

So why is this the case? What about nature encourages our mind and bodies to breathe slower, reduce anxiety, and function better holistically? Ecopsychology is a growing field that studies how nature and our environment affects our mental health, stress, mood, physical activity, oxygen levels, and more. We originally thought nature freaks were the only ones who thought this way – but numerous studies have shown that the hippies were right all along and modern science is actually on their side.

Nature Can Do Many Things, So Let’s Explore its Benefits:

Reduces Stress and Anxiety

Nature has a calming effect on our minds and bodies. Being surrounded by plants, trees, and fresh air can help reduce stress and anxiety levels. Studies have shown that spending time in nature can significantly lower cortisol levels, a hormone associated with stress.

Stress is a major talking point for everyone – you hear it in the news, at work meetings, and even in casual conversations. Everyone is “so busy” and stressed. The stress may look different person to person but there’s one thing that remains consistent – stress will completly fill any space you allow it to have.

There’s many times when we get stressed from overworking, being too busy, not having enough free time, or even just not sleeping properly. Getting out into nature is a free, easy way to get out and feel better – instantly. You don’t have to call the doctor to get a prescription and wait for it to kick it, you don’t have to sit in a therapy session for an hour, you don’t have to wait another day – just grab your shoes and hit the road, Jack.

Improves Physical Health

Nature is a great place to engage in physical activity. Hiking, walking, and biking are just a few examples of outdoor activities that can improve your cardiovascular health, reduce your risk of obesity, and lower your blood pressure.

It’s well known that we all need to work out, eat healthier, have less sugar and caffeine, and many, many other things that doctors tell us at every annual visit. However, just going out on a walk is enough to help – Rome wasn’t built in a day. While you are out exploring you get to create your own adventure. Do you want to hike 1 mile or 5 miles? The world is your oyster. The key is that you are outdoors doing something, and something is better than nothing.

You’ll also notice it’s easier to not chug coffee, energy drinks, and caffeine-packed beverages when you exercise often. There’s evidence that suggests that the feeling your body gets from caffeine and sugar is similar to the feeling of anxiety or stress. With a lot of caffeine intake, your body is plunged into high stress and anxiety mode against its will, and you are left confused why you feel so jittery and hazily awake. It’s not healthy for any of us, but we do it anyway.

Did you know that walking, hiking, running, or doing any form of exercise outdoors is the healthiest way for your body to produce “natural caffeine?” There’s no drawbacks to taking a walk. Unlike grabbing a sugar filled caffeinated beverage, you won’t have a sugar crash at the end of that walk either.

Boosts Immune System

Being in nature can also help boost your immune system. Trees and plants release phytoncides, which are chemicals that help protect them from germs and insects. When we breathe in these natural chemicals, our bodies respond by increasing the number and activity of a type of white blood cell that fights infection and even cancer.

The National Library of Medicine says,

“A growing body of evidence suggests that various forms of being exposed to nature, such as living close to, frequenting or even looking at environments dominated by living material, are able to provide salutogenic effects on human health. They range from beneficial psychological to physiological outcomes such as attention restoration, improved mood, lowered anxiety and decrease in depressive symptoms, improved cardiovascular, metabolic, oncogenic, respiratory and endocrine function as well as faster healing after surgery and longer life-expectancy. Often, these benefits are attributed to indirect effects of nature exposure, such as increased physical activity, social interactions, positive mental effects and exposure to sunlight, but recent findings have also highlighted direct physiological mechanisms that are triggered by exposure to natural environments. This review focuses on direct mechanisms by which nature can affect human health, more specifically on air-borne compounds emitted by natural environments that have the potential to modulate immunological responses when inhaled, such as biogenic volatile organic compounds (BVOCs), terpenes, essential oils, charged ions, pollen, fungi and bacteria.”

Did you know that your immune system could be enhanced by being out in nature? Because studies are finding out that it absoutely can be.

Enhances Creativity

Nature has been found to enhance creativity and problem-solving abilities. In a study conducted by the University of Utah, participants who went on a nature walk prior to testing performed better on a creativity test than those who went on an urban walk.

Provides Mental Clarity

Nature can also help clear our minds and improve our focus. Stepping away from our daily routines and technology can help us recharge and refocus our thoughts.

Have you ever been sitting at work for a few hours and just felt like you can’t focus anymore? There’s too many phones ringing, emails buzzing, your boss wants to have a meeting, and the intern has 500 questions for you today. It’s all happening at once, and the reality is that our brains and bodies were not made to handle this much stimulation at once.

Stress, depression, and other mental illnesses often follow when we are subjected long term to doing something that we can’t sustain. Your mind and body both can not keep up with the constant pinging of the world – so give them a break.

By going outside in nature, you allow yourself to see the trees, plants, animals, and the simplicity of the world. We have stepped away from a simple life in exchange for our digital world of notifications. At any time, you can decide to put down your phone and walk outside. Even turn it off, so that it won’t bother you the rest of the day. We are allowed to rest, and none of us are robots – even if our employers think we are or want us to be. We have to take breaks and reconnect with ourselves.

Wrapping Up:

Spending time in nature can have numerous benefits for our physical, mental, and emotional wellbeing. Whether it’s through hiking, camping, or even just taking a walk in the park, make sure to incorporate nature into your life to reap the (many) benefits it has to offer.

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Categories
Adventure Lifestyle travel

Adventure Awaits

Estimated time to read:

6–9 minutes

The average American spends close to 90,000 hours in their lifetime working to make a living. Whether it’s a job that you love, hate, or could care less about, you’re working just like the rest of us.

But, who said you had to spend your life doing things that you don’t enjoy? Even if you went to trade school to get a certification or college to get a degree – you aren’t stuck doing that specific thing forever.

Instead, spend your life searching for adventure. Adventure is a little different for everyone, but there are proven ways to find the adventure that is uniquely yours.

Start your adventure today by joining the [gone] community! We’ll send you travel hacks, money tips, lifestyle advice, and so much more.

You can ask us any questions about van life, traveling the US, or just chat with us on social media:

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Adventure is waiting for you with open arms.
You must find adventure – it’s out there waiting, undiscovered.

For me, I had a moment about a year ago when I just couldn’t handle the stress anymore. It felt like I was stuck in a rut and like I wasn’t moving anywhere. I wasn’t happy with my life, I was sinking down into depression, and I needed a way out. So, I began searching for adventure. “What do I love doing? And if I could find it, “why did I love doing it?” These are questions that kept me up late at night.

Me standing on a tree stump searching for adventure.
Me searching for adventure, from a tree stump.

Fast forward to where I am now, about a year later, and I’m feeling like the best version of myself. I went through a near death experience a few months ago, but that won’t stop me. I have things to accomplish, and I’m searching for adventure everywhere I go.

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Along the way, I’ve discovered that I really enjoy writing. I actually started out with trying to write a self-help book – and that adventure lead to me wanting to begin this blog as we traveled the U.S. I took a hiatus from my day job because I needed to regroup and recover in many areas of my life. But even so, I worked vigilantly to create this blog & update our social media – passion projects that I discovered I really enjoy.

Our latest on Instagram:

A year ago, we knew that a change of pace could do us both good. Our instagram feeds were flooded with van-lifers and full-time RV travelers. You know the type, perfectly curated photos set in incredibly impossible locations – the stuff of dreams. We thought these people were crazy (guess we are now too), but there was something that continued to draw us both in – adventure. My girlfriend and I are both nature lovers, needed a change of scenery, and didn’t want to feel stuck with our careers or our day-to-day life. We wanted to create a new life, and that began with our plan to travel the United States.

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We put down our fears and sold the house, both cars, and almost every material possession we owned. Knick-knacks – nixed. Extra clothes in the closet – donated. Christmas junk – gone. Lawn equipment – don’t need it without a house, huh? We were crazy enough to do that, and it was one of the scariest times of our lives. But, because of pushing through that fear, I’ve had the most exciting and exhilarating times of my life. It has been an adventure, daily.

Selling our umbrella to find adventure.
Selling our Kobalt lawnmower.
A ladder being sold for adventure.

We’ve traveled from South Carolina (where I’m originally from) down to Florida (where my girlfriend is originally from,) all the way across the country to California (where we are now). We’ve seen 15 states in about 10 months. We’ve really only slowed down recently because California is so ginormous!

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We knew that things weren’t making us happy. They never did, even when society told us everywhere that they could (Thanks, capitalism). By saving money on useless things we used to buy, we were then able to invest that money back into ourselves. We reallocated our money towards therapy, books to inspire us, a RV, travel expenses, and investing in our future. That’s how important you are, I am, and we all are.

I want to ask you to analyze where you are in life right now. Think about your career, the city you live in, your living situation (house, apartment, etc.,) you relationships, your health, your community. The key here is to make sure you write all of this down – it can be on paper or even on your iPhone’s Notes app. Take this seriously, because you need to evaluate where you are in life so that you can make a plan for YOUR future adventure.

Who said you can’t chase your dreams? The wildest thing in life is that life is a choose-your-own-adventure type of experience – and everyone’s is different. During your lifetime, you can do just about anything – but you have to define what it is that you actually want to do.

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Me beginning the adventure of this blog.
Me almost two years ago starting this blog.

Do you want to become a YouTube video creator? Let’s say video games are your thing; you can make videos and game walkthroughs. Do it! Start your adventure today, and don’t quit. Part of the secret to success in life is that you have to invest enough time to let things flourish – don’t give up on your first try.

If you plant corn, you expect corn to grow – not pumpkins. So plant the corn and be hopeful about its future growth. Because of drought, pests, and/or bad weather, it’s possible that the corn may not grow well this year. Your harvest may be lacking now but next year will be better. If you keep watering the seeds, fertilizing the soil, and caring for your crop, you’ll eventually reap exactly what you’ve sown – corn.

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Allow yourself to think heavily on what adventure(s) you want to pursue. If you don’t have any idea what this could be, think about what you are good at, what you find yourself excited about doing – or, better yet, try something new. Try writing, taking pictures, a new job, coaching youth sports, cooking your grandma’s recipes, or maybe even getting your hands dirty landscaping. I’ve really been enjoying exploring nature photography, as well as writing (of course.)

A beautiful adventure we had on San Clemente Beach.
Cliffside next to the ocean.
Some of my recent pictures from San Clemente Beach, CA.

The main point here is to try a little of everything until you discover what you really enjoy. It may be that something you never even considered – you’ll have to think outside of the box. To be honest though, the goal is less about finding what you enjoy and more about the adventure along the way of trying something new.

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Try something new - maybe an adventure.
Woman heading out for adventure with a backpack.

I don’t make a lot of money (yet) writing this blog. But every week I still sit down to write. That’s because I enjoy doing this, and want to share my thoughts with others. I want to change the way society sees things, lifestyles, and travel which is why I’m fulled by passion.

As this blog continues to grow, and that could take YEARS, it’ll evolve and take on new shapes. Along the way, I will get better and better at it, and people will begin to notice it online. The goal isn’t to make a lot of money writing, the goal is to see what becomes of the blog – to enjoy the adventure. These things take time. But since this is a passion of mine, it doesn’t matter how much time will pass for me, I’ll enjoy the journey along the way.

It’s important to note that you’ll have bills to pay as an adult, and adventure seeking won’t always pay those bills right away. It may take searching for a while and a lot of learning to discover how you can make a living doing something you are passionate about. So, you’ll probably have to work some jobs in the mean time that you align with but know that they won’t be forever. This is okay and is all a part of the adventure along the way.

Keep searching for your next adventure, and you will find it.

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You’ve made it to the end, thank you so much for joining me on this adventure! I hope that I have encouraged you to chase your own adventure soon. You can become what you want to be, but you’ll have to work hard, and keep your face up to the sun.

Please sign up for blog updates, it’s completely free – no strings attached. We will only deliver our content to your inbox – no spam.

You can chat with us directly on social media – DMs are open! We’d love to hear about the adventures you’re chasing.

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Categories
Lifestyle

What is Missing?

I’m sure that not everyone reads mental health blogs and listens to the woes of therapy podcasts in their daily life. Huh, no one? Just me? Okay, it’s cool. So, I’m super interested in this stuff. And as I geek out consistently over how the brain has created alternate realities for every single one of us, it becomes apparent that we are all so different. Although, we do share one common goal in life – and that’s survival.

Whether you are having the time of your life partying it up on a crystal clear beach in Florida right now even though it’s winter, or whether you are stuck between a rock and a hard place; we’re surviving. [Breaks out into song] 🎵 We’re all in this together! 🎵 If you know where this song is from, I’ll make sure you get extra tax refund money back this year. 😜

Seriously though, we are all in different stages of life and what’s craziest is that we all come from different upbringings and backgrounds. Expecting other people to understand how you grew up and see your lifelong misery is often a futile endeavor.  Just to name a few: growing up in poverty, being a less privileged social class, no one in your family has ever gone to college, ignorance of economic education, and COVID-19, just to name a few things that can separate all of our understandings as human beings.

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Wherever you are in your walk of life, one thing becomes apparent – we all need to spend more time on our mental health. In this crazy day and age, you can go from what society considers a “normal” functioning person to full panic attack and mental break down in the blink of an eye. This stuff isn’t a joke – and certainly not to be messed with. I’ve seen it firsthand, as I’m sure others of you have too.

Another huge problem we face as a society is that we reward staying busy. If you work longer hours at your job, you’ll get paid more. If you continue to perform well in your duties, you’ll get a promotion. The more degrees and training you can take on, the more useful you can become as an employee. The more you sacrifice in your personal life – kids’ ball games, dance recitals, anniversaries and birthday parties – the better and more successful you will be with the capitalistic economy that we live under. Everything we do seems to be measured on a scale, like we are just a method of production. Also, as the years progress, computers and technology are replacing many everyday jobs that some of us take pride in doing. It’s difficult everywhere we look.

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So, what can we all do differently?

One of the most important things we need to do is focus on our mental health. And to do that, this will require putting a lot of new habits into place for most of us. It’s no surprise that we have evolved as a species of cavemen/women unto where we are now. Unfortunately, it does come as a surprise to find out that our brains are running on ancient technology – a stone tablet if you will. This is essentially the equivalent to a pre-historic Apple iPad, but without all the iCloud and Bluetooth features. I call it the stone phone, instead of the smart phone. Basically, a parchment with some letters, and it’s difficult to even make out the words because they have faded over the millennia. That’s how old the technology of our brain is. It hasn’t been able to evolve as well as the rest of the world has over time.

To explain a little more, let’s come back to our original point above about the need for survival. Our brain prioritizes survival, and this is an innate process embedded deep within us. As far back as pre-historic days, the most important process of the brain was to keep you safe. It was constantly searching for danger in the environment around you. If the brain didn’t keep you alive, well how would we have evolved as a species into the intelligent humans that we are now?

In olden times, if a bear appeared next to you in the jungle – your body would go into shock. Your mind would have the options of fight, flight, or freeze. You’ve probably heard this before, and it’s how your brain is programmed to keep you alive.

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The problem comes when we fast forward thousands of years to where we are now. I assume that many of us are not fending for our lives from bears and lions in the wilderness anymore. Although if you are, kudos to you. Keep it up, my jungle friends! Because our brain is still trying to run this script of code that is ancient technology, it hasn’t quite figured out how to adapt to the chaos of today. Science, technology, and infrastructure has shaped faster than our minds ever will be able to do. So, unfortunately, this leaves YOU as the only person who can train and prepare your mind for today’s problems. Lucky for you, there’s plenty of resources on the internet, in libraries, and here on our blog.

Anxiety is an alarm system

When your phone or clock buzzes in the morning, we know that you hit snooze a few times … and that’s okay! Anxiety functions in a similar way to this alarm that we are all used to. Some of the symptoms of anxiety are quicker breathing, faster heart rate, pain in your chest, panic attacks, intrusive or spiraling thoughts, and your logic system shutting off. This results in you being less logical and much more vulnerable and emotional. When you feel some of these indicators and start to think that you are having anxiety, stop there. Think to yourself why you would be feeling anxious and see if you can pinpoint the problem. This can be an extremely difficult process, so keep with it. The same way that it took falling off your bicycle with training wheels as a kid a few times to learn how to ride a bike applies here.

Learning new habits and processes are not easy and you must be patient. Practice writing down your thoughts and feelings when you feel anxious. Observe your environment and see if something has changed recently to cause an alarm bell within you. Maybe you are fast approaching a work deadline and your co-workers keep wanting to talk about their weekend plans. Politely tell them that you are busy and need to get a lot of work done. Even better, ask them for help with your deadline!

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You are not broken

Every single person on this planet has a similar brain structure and processes that you do. Although, our upbringing and phases of life do reshape how we think, believe, and the knowledge we hold. Anyone on this Earth can have anxiety or depression, even freaking President Joe Biden himself. No one can escape the importance of mental health and wellness. This is a very important piece of the puzzle – remember that you are not broken. You do not have to be isolated, alone, and you are also not the only one who is hurt. Look around you to the people you know, and even strangers on the street, everyone is struggling in different ways.

Look at COVID-19 as a historic example. Many, many people lost their jobs or their homes overnight. Factories and corporations shut down at the drop of a hat. If you were not prepared for any of this to happen, your world was probably shaken upside down – like many of us. One of the only things we can positively say that came out of the COVID pandemic is that mental health has been given a wonderful spotlight across news networks and social media.

Counseling therapy is important

The word therapy itself means, “treatment intended to relieve or heal a disorder.” The reality is that many of us are trying to pay the bills, have family, and just enjoy life. To do this, especially when mental health conditions appear within you, you need to get educated about this stuff. The great thing about counselors and therapists are that they can help you understand yourself, your mind, your trauma, and the brain very well. You don’t even have to get a college degree yourself to learn this wizardry!

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A counselor is basically a life coach who is in your corner rooting for you. They have years of psychology education, training and experience of various mental health conditions that you might have and can guide you through the dark when you need it the most. Get a counselor in your corner, even if they cost a lot for their help. Research your local area, and great resources online like BetterHelp.com. Often, you can get discounts through insurance and free session credits through EAP (Employee Assistance Program) if your job offers this.

Community is crucial to you

I am willing to admit right away that I suck at this one. I don’t have very many friends, and I have pushed away or outgrown a large part of the people who used to be in my life. These have been my own personal choices, and I have walked through the solitude that this can often bring with it. I am saying this to encourage others of you to realize that we are all human and make mistakes. Some of us are not very social and have to learn new skills to make friends.

A large part of building community around you is healing through your own personal trauma. You certainly don’t have to do this alone. This why counselors, therapists, family, and friends are there for you. It is difficult for any of us to hold the world on our shoulders and not to let the weight crush us slowly.

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As far back as science has been able to find, people have lived in communities. A large group of people would band together to create a tribe, and they would settle down in a practical area or travel together to new environments. If you always keep your mental woes trapped in your head, they will not have a healthy place within this world. Forming community allows us to discuss our problems together, lean on each other’s strengths, and to increase our chances of survival.

Medicine helps in times of need

Medicine often has a bad reputation, especially when it comes to scary words like anti-psychotics and anti-depressants. Those words are enough to scare even a child away from taking these kinds of medicines. Not to mention that medicines can be extremely expensive and difficult to get prescribed in the first place. Regardless of crappy health care and other related issues, medicine does exist as a last resort, or even a supplemental way to aid you. There’s nothing “bad” with taking medicine, especially when it does genuinely help you.

Drop the stigma and contact your general doctor, or a psychiatrist. The way that I like to explain medicine when it comes to mental health is that it can snip the strings of the heavy load that you are carrying around with you. Once it snips the strings, you can combine all of the other above processes (and new skills from counseling) to help you become successful.

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NAMI and Other Internet Resources:

National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) is a very important resource for mental health. You probably have noticed a few of the infographics I have placed on this blog, and they have all come from NAMI. They do magnificent research around mental health and work with health professionals from all over the world to help us fix this ongoing mental health crisis many of us face today.

National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) is another wonderful resource surrounding mental health. Government money helps aid this company with doing research, providing resources, and helping those in need – regardless of the problem.

Call 911 if you or someone you know is in immediate danger, or go to the nearest emergency room.

Call or text 988 to connect with a trained crisis counselor, who are available 24-hours a day when you need them most.

There are plenty of other resources out there, but these are a few of the most important that I have seen available for anyone to use.

The bottom line … YOU are worth being well

The funny thing is that if you look back up at the top of this blog, I was talking about the ways that success is measured in society. A few of these being long hours in the workplace, success in your career ladder, and even the freaking expensive car that you own. These are the things that society, TV, banks, and corporations want you to believe are important. So, maybe it’s time that you start putting what is important in front of you first. I’ll help you with this. Follow us on Facebook, Instagram, and everywhere else with the buttons below:

Our messages are always open, and we welcome anyone who needs help. That is the whole reason that we do this thing.

No Place Like Gone is a playground for documenting our travels, adventures, and educating everyone that we can reach with the knowledge that we are able to learn from around the world. We want your life to be high quality, and full of what you love the most. We want you to wake up in the morning always smiling for a new day. From my mind to yours, let me pour my insight into you. My name is Matt, and I thank you for reading my blog today. Good blessings to you all, my friends.

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Below are the infographic files from NAMI that have been used in this blog. Feel free to download them for yourself to send to your loved ones or anyone who needs these resources:

NAMI-infographicDownload
NAMI-ripple-effectDownload
NAMI-warning-signsDownload

Below are other similar blogs that we have written:

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Uncategorized

Lessons Learned From the Worst Day of My Life

Guest post written by Breanna, my lovely girlfriend.

Never take for granted the blessing to be alive, and also the people that you love. Hold each and everyone close. Spread love every day that you exist.

Two 2️⃣ years ago today while tent camping on Lake Hartwell, Matt asked me to be his girlfriend. 

This was our tent camping spot.

In my heart it was an immediate “Yes!“ 

…. but what came out was, 

“Are you sure?!” 😳😬😅

Sitting under the stars that night by the campfire we laughed and agreed that fate had brought us together, camping is awesome, and to give it a go at being “official.”

The sunrise was so beautiful, especially when I woke up realizing I now had my boyfriend next to me.

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Two years later and this has been the best, craziest, most sit-on-the-edge-of-your-seat adventure. But it’s also been the most “feels like my heart is at home” adventure.

Last November, to celebrate our very first anniversary, we spent the weekend in Savannah, GA. Our Airbnb host had remodeled a vintage 1960s Shasta camper as a “glamping” experience. Since we were used to tent camping, this seemed like a luxurious splurge. 

Me in front of the Shasta, it was 40 degrees and raining outside but that didn’t stop us from having a blast.

We fell in love. 

Not only with each other – but also with the idea of “glamping” in an RV. By the time we were on the drive home we had a spreadsheet going of costs involved with owning a camper, pros and cons, and what future camping trips could look like if we were to buy one. 

Fast forward to February ‘22 and (with completed spreadsheet in hand) we’re at the RV dealership. We decided to keep adventuring – in style – and bought a motorhome. 

Proud owners of a 2022 Coachmen Crosstrail XL 23XG – brand new off the lot.

Four short months later, we say yes to chasing adventure and abandon “normal.” 

We set our sights on living and traveling full time in the RV. We sell the house, our cars, and 90% of everything we owned. Matt quit his job as a Mechanical Engineer to be our full time driver and to take a break from what is corporate America. Thanks to the power of the internets, and the COVID-inspired shift to working remote, I’m still working with clients & they afford me the flexibility to travel full time and embrace this lifestyle – ya girl got bills to pay! Lol. 

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In the six months since we’ve:

  • Visited ✨10 states ✨ (our goal is to hit all 50 before we turn 30). 
  • Camped at state parks, US Army COE campgrounds, wineries, an alpaca farm, national forests, a casino, city parks, beaches, lakes, private RV resorts, and music festivals. 
  • Swam in waterfalls, lakes, rivers, the Atlantic Ocean, the Gulf of Mexico, & countless campground pools.
  • Driven just under 10k miles.
  • Watched and photographed many sunrises and sunsets.
  • Matt taught me how to change the oil in the generator – #feminism. lol. 
  • Set up and taken down camp at least 62720932 times. 
  • And we’ve met folks from all different walks of life; we even met someone from our hometown in Greenville at a concert in Arkansas! 

Okay, so those are all the “humble-brag-worthy” things. There have also been plenty of not-so-great things. Things like traffic jams, flat tires, missed turns, mechanical issues, no cell service, wild animals getting into our trash bin, Luna being a puppy and causing chaos, poop hose debacles like in National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, and baddd weather (like 9 degrees bad 🥶). 

But, on Labor Day weekend, the thing of my worst nightmares happened right before my eyes. 

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We haven’t really posted about this yet, but, I feel like I’m ready to now that I’ve had time to process and he’s had time to heal. I really do feel like I’ve learned one of the fundamental purposes of our humanity through this tragic accident & I want to share it publicly here. 

While traveling to a new campsite one morning we found the rock face in the picture below in Rolla, Missouri (you can see a very small version of Matt in the top left of the picture). Being the adventurous tourists that we are, we pulled over and thought this would be a great spot to grab some pictures. If you look at that picture you’ll notice that the boulders were almost stacked like stairs so we thought it’d be an “easy up, snap a few pictures, and come back down” 15-minute pit stop. 

Matt standing at the top of the rock face – proudly conquered.

I’ve never been more wrong. 

After he climbed to the top and I take a few pictures from the ground, it happened right in front of me. 

On the way back down from the top, Matt looses his footing.

I watch as his body ricochets off of the rock face – falling, falling, falling to the ground. He smacks the ground, landing on unforgiving rock.

Mortified, I run to him. 

Blood. Lots of it. 

I call 911 screaming for help. 

Bystanders rush over giving me T-shirts to wrap his head in to stop the bleeding. It felt like a lifetime before the first ambulance arrived. They start to stabilize him and I notice one of the EMS guys making a circular motion with his hand while the others nodded. “What is that? What does that mean?” I thought, trying to remember to breathe. 

A police officer named Jenna (I’ll never forget her face) quickly pulls me aside. She calmly explains what would happen next. 

Due to the severity of the fall, after a quick triage, the ambulance would take Matt to this small town’s hospital with a helipad where he would be medivac’d via helicopter to the trauma center back in Saint Louis. 

I physically heard her words but they weren’t comprehensible to me. She escorts me to the local hospital behind the ambulance. I’ve never been more appreciative of a law enforcement officer; if you know someone working this incredibly complex and emotionally demanding job – thank them. 

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While on the way to the helipad the EMS team triaged Matt as best they could. This included cutting away all his clothing so he could go directly into surgery if needed, shaving his chest and hooking him to monitors, wrapping and re-wrapping his head wounds, and pumping him full of chemicals to keep him as stable as possible. The helicopter arrived, I kissed him on the forehead and told him I loved him, and he was up and away. The helicopter ride to the trauma center would be 45 minutes for him. I plug the trauma center’s address into my phone’s GPS, it’ll be an hour and a half drive for me and Luna in the RV. 

The EMS guy that had been calling for the helicopter earlier pulled me aside as silent tears rolled down my cheeks and I counted my breaths to try to stay calm. 

“I don’t lie to my patients and I don’t lie to their families. This doesn’t look good.”

My heart plummets through my chest down to my stomach, landing with a sucker punch to the gut. 

He went on to explain the injuries they were seeing and that their main concern was a brain bleed/swelling or internal bleeding due to the height of the fall and his spiking blood pressure. At the end he reminds me, “You’re no good to him if you’re not calm. You’ve got to stay calm and get to the trauma center, safely. He’s in the best hands possible and your only job is to drive safely.”

I walk back over to the RV and sit in the driver’s seat. I completely fall apart under the weight of what I was just told. The worst outcomes swirl through my mind. 

Luna jumps over to me, trying to understand what was happening, why I’m so distraught, and where her dad is. I shifted her, trying to put the key in the ignition and get going. I kid you not, she crawled over me, down onto the floorboard, and sat on the pedals blocking me from moving. It’s like she knew it wasn’t safe for me to drive until I calmed down. After a few minutes I gather myself, she hops back into the passenger seat, and we leave. 

What should have been an hour and a half drive in the RV turns in to two and a half hours because of rain and traffic jams. I called Lauren (my best friend in the whole world) hysterically on the way explaining what was happening. No doubt, I have the absolute best friend in the entire universe. She stayed on the phone with me – keeping me calm and praying. 

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I hang up with her and call the hospital. I needed answers. I ask them if a helicopter with the patient Matthew has arrived yet and for an update. They say they have no one by that name in the system. 

What?!? 

I get transferred what felt like 5000 different times to people trying to find where he is and give me an update. They keep telling me they don’t have anyone by that name under their care and transferring me to different departments. I’m panicking. Later, I learned that because they had to cut off his clothing, and I had his wallet with his ID, they entered him in the system as a “John Doe” until they could verify his identity. After the worst 2.5 hour drive of my life, I finally get to the hospital, whip the RV haphazardly into a spot, crank the generator and AC for Luna, and run into the ER. 

I get through security and walk to the room with the “John Doe” sign.

I knock. 

No response. 

Nothing. 

Heart pounding, I ease my way into the room.

There he is. 

He’s awake, covered in bandages, there’s blood all over the bed, he’s hooked to too many monitors to count. We lock eyes. He’s alive. I run to him and burst into tears.

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Here’s where I finally start to see the light at the end of the tunnel and this story turns around. 

His nurse comes in and walks us through what’s happened since he’s arrived. To say he is lucky, blessed, has a guardian angel, has nine lives, or whatever else you may want to call it – is an understatement. Testing shows no brain injuries or internal bleeding- the best, most seemingly impossible, news ever on what was arguably the worst day ever. 

His injuries include 22 staples to close his head, 4 broken ribs, multiple strains of the ligaments in his neck resulting in bulging discs, severe deep tissue bruising across his back and butt, lacerations all over his body, a sprained ankle, and a severely mangled hand/wrist. 

But NO internal damage. 

Lucky, blessed, has a guardian angel, has nine lives, or whatever else you may want to call it. Understatement. 

The last two months until now have been a blur. His mom flew to Saint Louis to meet us and be with him. THANK GOD for a mother’s love, I was so thankful to have her with us. Brooke (another one of my amazing friends) and her brilliant doctor brain walk us through MRIs, scans, test results, and physical therapy exercises. Lauren and I share several teary phone calls talking through his daily updates and progress. Close family and friends reach out as the news spreads and they offer to help however they can and pray. We’re enveloped in love and empathy by the people closest to us. 

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After two months, I’m happy to share that Matt is off pain medication, has been cleared to remove the cervical collar on his neck, had his staples removed, is walking, has healed wounds that only left faint scars, and has clearance from neurosurgery to start (safely) traveling again. We’re starting to slowly travel again and have plans to have family fly out and meet us for the holidays. He’s in good spirits and is cracking jokes about it all. 🤪 Humor is cathartic. 

Never been happier to remove this after 8 long weeks of feeling like a giraffe.

There have been so many examples of what I personally call “God Winks” along this journey. Moments where I could tangibly feel the presence of the Divine working directly through someone to help heal, support, or care for him. For instance, if you look at the picture of him standing on the top of the rock face you can see a faint cross above his head in the clouds; this was taken literally seconds before the accident. Even when we felt completely alone and helpless while waiting for EMS to arrive, we were never alone. 

Post accident there hasn’t been a single day that family or friends didn’t check in on us. Through this horrible accident, I was able to experience the outpouring of love and support from our circle of people – and I will be forever grateful for it. 

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As I reflect on our two year anniversary, I can’t help but find the correlation between the love Matt & I have for each other, the love of the Divine, and the love between members of our small community of family and friends. Love. 

Love. Love. Love. 

Love is all you need. 

(Beatles reference there for ya 😉). 

Love your partner, love your neighbors, love your doggos, love your karen of a coworker, love your enemies – just be freakin’ kind. Life is too short to be filled with hate. If we all embrace each other with empathy, the world will be a better place – and you’ll be a better person for it.

If you’ve made it this far, thank you for reading my short novel and coming to my TED Talk, lol. This post feels like a blend of a life update, diary entry, and therapy session.

On a serious note, reading this much shows that you love me enough to take time out of your day to read my post and hear our story. Thank you for showing me love, I hope to show you the same. ♥️

Real love,

Breanna

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Here are some JOYFUL pictures from our recent adventures, you always have to end on a good note! 😄

Categories
Finance Lifestyle

Lifestyle Inflation

You see the neighbor’s sparkly blue BMW sitting out front of their mansion. You notice the new Mercedes they just bought their high school aged kid next. You have a choice of what happens next. Do you want to struggle to keep up with the Jones’?

It creeps up on most of us, and you have to be very careful. You get a nice promotion at work with a hefty raise. Your wife successfully launches her side business tutoring school kids on the weekends. You find yourself with more zeros on your bank account than you’ve ever seen. You have a choice of what happens next.

You see the neighbor’s sparkly blue BMW sitting out front of their mansion. You notice the new Mercedes they just bought their high school aged kid next. It’s getting hot out this Summer and you see them all kicking back and laughing out by the pool. You spend your own time mowing your lawn and doing landscaping almost every weekend to keep up a good curb appeal. But regardless of what you do, that pesky neighbor pays professionals to come out and spread grass seed, spray pesticides, and mow their yards. What is this, the freaking Biltmore House? You have a choice of what happens next.

With your new wealth, you could start paying for a better lifestyle. You could look cool like your neighbors do, at a cost. Everything comes at a cost. Part of this cost is that you are comparing yourself to your neighbor. This could be a lack of confidence. Jealousy. Or it could just be lifestyle inflation, creeping up in your mind. “Well I make more money now, I can afford nicer things.” You have a choice of what happens next.

See, I intentionally ended the last three paragraphs with the same line.

“You have a choice of what happens next.”

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Powerful. I’ve learned that we get caught up in the small details. You make more money now, so you can afford more things right? Your neighbor has better things than you, well it must be time to keep up with the Jones’. But why?

Why can’t you make more money and keep the same old things you already have? Because you think you deserve better. Because capitalism and our culture teaches us that we all deserve nice and shiny new things ALL of the time. We all deserve the best. Even YOU can afford a nice BMW with the right financing terms. Marketing makes it seem like all of us can join the wealthy elites with the right utilization of debt.

Flip the Coin

You don’t have to play into lifestyle inflation. Do you know what you can achieve by keeping new found money in your possession? I do. If you manage to keep those greedy car companies, furniture stores, and other consumer products away, that can be powerful.

Imagine living the same life you have been, without purchasing a lot of new things. You could find contentment within the present. You don’t need a new car, a larger house, or a bigger ego. Imagine that.

Contentment is a process, a journey, and a way of life. Can you be content with less things than someone else has? Can you find happiness not within things – but within people and memories? Because I can. I know this exists, and I’m writing about these stories every day. I’m seeing people who walk this life every day. Financial minimalism can be achieved for anyone – who is willing to seek it out.

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See, I also left out a key detail about that pesky neighbor we talked about earlier. They have the sprawling mansion, a BMW, the Mercedes, and a pool. Plenty of other things too that you could only dream of having one day. But they are struggling financially. They have so much debt that I’m convinced the father sold some organs to afford those things. They sit up at night wondering how they’ll afford the next thing. Their kid is spoiled and hasn’t learned the meaning of money. The mother and father argue to the point that their marriage is in jeopardy next. Does this look like the life you want?

Happiness doesn’t equal things. Do you really want to strive to be them? The material possessions will not improve your life. Buying too many things and living beyond your means often comes with a hefty price tag.

What Does Moving Forward Look Like?

Decide what’s important to you. Do you want to put your family in jeopardy by buying too many consumer products? That’s exactly what can happen when you let a mountain of debt rack up higher than your bank account. Prosperity, which is the counter-opposite of struggling with debt, would look a whole lot better for your children one day.

Set your values. Are you the type that wants to never use debt again? If you are, start today. Cut those credit cards up, stop watching TV commercials, and run the opposite way of retail shopping. Anything in life starts with intentionality. Then you can build up over time from baby steps, to larger steps, of living and breathing a healthier air.

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Regardless of which direction you choose to go in, remember that living beyond your means is not sustainable. Just because your neighbor or someone else has nice things, does not mean you need to compete with them. This also appears that they look good on the outside, but you don’t know how they are truly doing on the inside. Maybe you want nice things like they have, but you can choose to not go in debt over your head for them.

No matter how many things you own, you have to live with yourself. Do you want to own a lot of things, and be struggling financially? Or would you rather not own anything, and be able to smile and breathe normally? You can set the example for your children.

Here are some related reads that I highly recommend:

Categories
#RANTS

Karen, Put the Phone Down

The world is already hard on teens. Why should we make it harder on them by handing them instant judgement in the form of social media apps on their smart phone?

Cell phones, oh God. They have said that AI was going to take over the world one day, but too late – your smart phone already has! You can’t walk down a single street without 4 out of 5 people staring at their phone screen. Is there anything bad with being able to talk to people at any time of the day? What’s wrong with searching Google for the best restaurants near you? Let’s find out.

Honestly, smartphones are the greatest thing ever invented. Really. Thank you Steve Jobs for your wonderful contribution. Even your 3 year old cousin has one already, they are freaking wonderful! No seriously, these computers in our pockets can empower us to do pretty much anything in this day-and-age. Research for school, write a blog (WOO!), check your bank account; it’s magnificent. It’s impossible to deny the benefits of having smartphones within our grasp.

So what’s the problem?

Social media. The end. Thank you for reading my new blog, hope to see you back next time!

Seriously though. Social media is most of the problem. If you haven’t watched the Netflix film Social Dilemma, I highly recommend doing that right after you finish up this blog. Listen, I’m not going to sit here and rant about conspiracies and that Mark Zuckerberg is an alien. I’m going to present to you how catastrophic social media is to our society, and it’s spiraling out of control.

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For teenagers growing up in society now (considered Gen Z), have lived their entire life with social media, basically. They will never know a world without Instagram, Snapchat, and TikTok.

My first argument is that the amount of data and information that these corporate giants can collect from all of our underaged individuals should make your skin crawl. With algorithms and complex coding, these social media sites are able to track and monitor search history, time spent viewing posts, and so many other nuggets of information that you might not even realize.

With all of this information, they can generate a file of each individual, which allows them to sell and market the information to any business. See, it used to be that products were marketed to sell to us through television commercials and newspaper ads. Now, WE as people are being marketed to sell our information to the businesses and companies! It’s the inverse, and when did this flip happen? Most of us never have taken the time to notice.

Another scary thing is the effect that social media inevitably has had on this younger generation. Many studies and reports have came out showing drastic increases in suicide, especially in teenage girls, ever since 2007. It doesn’t take a genius to realize that Myspace and Facebook begin to get popular in these early years. Plenty of other social media came to rise later on like Vine, Instagram, TikTok, and plenty more.

In general, the effects that social media may have on young teenagers’ developing minds is frightening. Likes and comments are injected as dopamine through the form of notifications. If you aren’t aware, dopamine is a chemical within our brain that is known as the “pleasure” chemical. When you get a spike in dopamine chemicals, typically something has triggered your brain to feel happiness. Since the brilliant engineers behind social media giants took this into account with their design, they realized they can supply fake dopamine hits through notifications and psychological tricks.

When all you have ever known is the smart phone and Instagram since you were a kid, this becomes your lived reality. You can’t have a universe without social media and a phone to compare to, because you’ve never seen it. That’s a thought.

Cyberbullying. A word that hopefully everyone hates (unless you are one). For a young teenager, a few harsh comments or bullying can flip their entire world upside down. This isn’t even taking into account any of their lived experiences or at-home situations. Some children simply have a difficult life, especially at home with potential parental issues. When you combine the two, easily it could lead down a bad path that they can’t come back from without help.

I’d like to insert some valuable resources for suicide here. I believe that mental health is insanely important, and it’s very often left untreated in this country and in many others. Here are some resources if you know anyone who needs help today:

There are people waiting to help today. Everyone deserves the gift of life.

All in all, I’m not trying to say social media (and any specific platform) is terrible. Although, they can play a huge part in the development of society and it impacts kids and teenagers the most. Unfortunately, I feel like there are many cons around this discussion, and even Facebook’s own designers have admitted to working with psychologists to write their code in a way that sucks in the human brain. More clicks, more profit, Facebook wins. All of the social medias have these kinds of dopamine hit or attraction to them that can continue to bring you back to them.

At the bear minimum, I am asking that every help play their part. Educate yourself and understand what these social media platforms are capable of doing. Bring the kids and teenagers into these discussions, and limit their use so that they will not end up in a fantasy of chasing likes on a digital freaking picture for the rest of their life.

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Categories
Lifestyle

Things I Learned From Therapy

I felt like I was in a rut for quite a long time. Unfortunately, I felt trapped. I worked crazy long hours thinking that the harder I worked, the more I sacrificed, the more sanity I lost – it was truly worth it. But for what? Autopilot is the mode that I was set on, believing that I was a money making machine for a company, with no other goals of my own. I didn’t have many hobbies (outside of video games), nor did I care to get out and make friends, or try new things. After dating in my early 20’s I finally met my lovely girlfriend of almost two years now. She helped me realize that I was sabotaging myself and sinking bit by bit. Fast forward more and my mother lined me up with an excellent therapist she found, so I took a leap of faith.

I had never recognized myself as a person who needs therapy. Sure, I wasn’t happy in a lot of areas of my life. However, I kept feeling like if I could keep producing at my career and also clear levels in video games, then I couldn’t go wrong. I was constantly progressing, even if only on digital screens. I literally became a machine, turning off emotion and feelings so that I could complete my projects by their deadlines. I didn’t have much of a social life. The average person looking in at me would probably realize how weird and struggling I was, but I just couldn’t bring myself mentally to ask for help. Whether it was medicine, counseling, or divine intervention, I didn’t think it would cure me. You might know someone else like this or find yourself in the same boat as me. Hear me say: You Are Drowning.

There’s always a storm coming. Are you well enough to weather the next one?

Medicine Breaks the Cycle

Having self-deprecating habits and vicious thoughts in your head for a prolonged period of time can lead to mental health issues. You’ve heard of the most common: anxiety, depression, eating disorders. What most people don’t understand is that your thoughts and mentality are the commanders in charge of your body. If you constantly hear negative thoughts or have spiraling anxiety, it’s no wonder why you are in a depressive fog. Take the time to acknowledge it if this is you. Even watch the people around you to check their well-being. The crazy thing is that no one ever really teaches you about mental health unless you decide to research it yourself or get in touch with a therapist.

Shown are various versions of mental illnesses that people may suffer from.

Medicine like anti-depressants, anti-psychotics, and mood stabilizers are commonly prescribed by doctors. It is the belief by many that medicine won’t fix you, and you also wouldn’t want to take a “crazy drug.” I get it, I felt the same way. I take a few medicines now, and I still feel the same way. Let it be known that medicine will not fix you. So what’s the point?

If you continue to follow through with the same actions but expect a different outcome, that is the definition of insanity. The aforementioned medicines serve as a pair of scissors, safely snipping the wire between negative thoughts and your brain’s imbalance of chemicals. Further reading on how this works here. Once the cycle has been stopped, or at least slowed down in most cases, you can finally get to work on improving. Again, medicine will not fix you. However, it is a stepping stone that many people have to approach so that they can get well in the long term.

This is a chart showing commonly used psychiatric medicines for mental health. Educate yourself about them, and all of their side effects. Ask your doctor for info.

It goes without saying that you should always ask your doctor about all benefits, risks, and side effects that any medicine has before you take it. Not every medicine works for every person. Be careful and educate yourself on what you are prescribed, what it does, its side effects, and why you are taking it.

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Counseling Teaches You Improvement

We’ve all seen the corny movie scenes of a person sitting in a room with a hot therapist talking about their feelings. Yeah, that’s not real life. Thanks Hollywood. I would argue that many peoples’ beliefs about counseling is that they talk about their problems, get it out, then move on. That’s only a fraction of the purpose. This is important. You will not fix your marriage by going to one counseling session, screaming your feelings at a therapist, and then going back home to continue your same old behaviors with your spouse anyway.

You will not fix your marriage by going to one counseling session, screaming your feelings at a therapist, and then going back home to continue your same old behaviors with your spouse anyway.

No Place Like Gone, 2022

The main purpose of counseling is so that you can educate yourself on mental health, learn new processes, and grow as a person towards a better version of you. We all have things that we can work on, and I will never believe that anybody is perfect. Counseling works a little different for everyone, depending on how resistant you are to change. It usually takes going for at least a few sessions, talking about your feelings, realizing that you actually want to change, hearing your therapist when they teach you new behaviors to practice, and finally you implementing these changes into your life. Now hear me say that it takes patience. You will not get it the first time. Or the second. Think back to when you learned to ride a bicycle, or swim, or play an instrument. It took many times of falling off of that bicycle so that you could learn enough motor coordination as a child to learn how to balance and peddle in tandem. Learning anything in life is no different.

Use therapy as a chance to be heard with your feelings, but also soak up all of the practical advice that they have. Take notes down in a notepad as you speak with your counselor. This is serious. It’s just like sitting back in class when you were in grade school or college. Only this time, this is THE MOST important subject that you can learn in the world – you! Ask your therapist for practical tips and things that you can try differently with your life, behavior, and actions. Therapy is about you getting the help that you need, not your therapist just asking you questions for an hour every session.

Purposes of Counseling:

  • Having a confidential partner to talk to
  • Letting a trained professional speak into your life
  • Assessing your thoughts, habits, behaviors, and actions
  • Implementing a plan to become well mentally
  • Changing your view of people, the world, and life
  • Learning new skills of communication, how to cope, grief and forgiveness, understanding your thoughts and emotions better
  • Finding the resources and people that you need in your life
  • Processing trauma and powerful events in your life
  • Becoming a more positive and healthy YOU

It’s also important to note that not every therapist is the right match for you. It may take you some time to find the one that fits your style just right. Luckily, I struck gold on the second time and am blessed for that. Remember that going to counseling is about helping you improve, so don’t waste your time if it doesn’t feel right. But you definitely need to keep trying. No matter the stakes.

I’d like to take some time to mention Better Help. They are an excellent online community of licensed therapists, counselors, and psychiatrists willing to help you no matter where you live in the country (United States specifically). Currently, I am in no way affiliated with Better Help, but I have heard from multiple people that I know that this program can be excellent for new people discovering counseling. Their programs are quite affordable, between $60 and $90 per weekly session, which is compared to the average of $200-$400 for a typical counseling sit-down session in your local town’s mental health practice. Check them out here, to begin your journey now to getting well, from the safety of your home in this crazy world.

Community Keeps You Connected

There are times when you want to fall off of the wagon. Yes, that’s an old person saying but there is a reason that old people get to live to such an old age! They have wise life advice radiating out of them like a fountain. Arguably one of the best systems to keep you connected to getting well is a community. As a species, we have evolved from creatures that gathered in tribes, fought wars, struggled and survived together. No one wants to be left to survive alone.

Find your local community willing to stand next to you. We are social creatures.

Plug in to a community near you. It may be people your age, or different. People who like doing things that you like doing. Find a local hiking group, sewing club, or business development workshop. The important thing is finding people who accept you and who want to be around you. These people over time will want to protect you like you protect them. You become indoctrinated into the music tribe, the swimming tribe, the old cat lady tribe, or whatever it is! These people are the ones that can hold your hand when the nights get dark. When you want to skip the medicine because you are out of hope. When you quit trying to love yourself because you feel worthless. Look to this community of people that you are building to speak into your life.

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You are your worst critic, and therefore you will drag yourself down into a bottomless pit of sorrow if you do not grab a hand fast. Having loved ones, friends, colleagues, a mentor, all help to position yourself not to fail next time. You will make mistakes, you will miss taking medicine one day, you might skip practicing good behaviors, and fall off of the deep end quickly. Let others be there to help when you need it most. Lean on them, “because in counsel there is safety.” Humanity functions best when we are connected and working towards the same goal of survival together.

Lean on them, “because in counsel there is safety.”

Proverbs 11:14 – the Bible (KJV)

On the other side, be the light at the end of the tunnel for others if they need you by their side. Everyone is struggling in a different way. It may be under the surface of all of those smiles and laughs that you find the truth about them. Always be kind, and allow yourself to love.

Mental Health Must Be Treated Like Physical Health

Many people have the impression that you just are who you are. You can’t change, or improve. You’ll always be Chuck from New Hampshire, with the same old car and the same old behaviors. This is not true. When you gain weight, you may experience various health conditions related to that. When you go to the doctor they will tell you to exercise, get on a diet, and try this appetite-suppressing pill. If you have the willpower to stick through a tough regimen, you will undoubtedly come out healthier and happier on the other side.

Mental health is no different. People want to separate physical health, mental health, spiritual health and tackle them in order of what is the easiest thing to do (most of the time). But we as a society have a bad picture of this. Consider your body like a piece of machinery, let’s say a car just like you drive to work everyday. Without a working engine, the car won’t move. Without gas in the tank, the car won’t move. Without a working computer chip, the car won’t move. I know this is an abstract way of explaining this, but treat your wellbeing the same.

Physical + Emotional + Mental + Social + Spiritual Health = The Best YOU!

Your brain is a muscle which should be fed knowledge, books, and positive behaviors and actions to keep it healthy. Your body is composed of complex systems that need a balanced diet, but not in excess of too much food. Working out is crucial to your physical fitness, but also has phenomenal effects for your mind as well. You also have to change behaviors or make new lifestyle choices because of your age at times throughout life. Your spiritual health must be what your soul desires, based off of your belief systems, and so that you can feel peaceful inside. But all of these pieces of the puzzle work together to create who YOU are. Never separate them again.

When you feel sad or depressed, see your doctor or find a local psychiatrist. When a loved one passes away, or you lose a job, see a counselor immediately. These things need to be processed, so that your mind will not veer off into the shadow realm of negative. If you don’t feel like getting out of bed everyday (who does honestly?) then maybe you are burned out or feeling lost without purpose. Find a psychiatrist that can help regulate your biochemical imbalances. Trust me, every little step matters. Rome wasn’t built in a day, or by one single person either. You aren’t in this alone.

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Self Improvement – Other Options

There are dozens of mental health podcasts, books, documentaries, Ted Talks on Youtube, and so much more to find. Whether you have severe anxiety or have been diagnosed with a serious label by a licensed psychologist, there are resources out there to help you. Ask your counselor or psychiatrist for any options they can provide you. Also do your work to find your own systems that work. I also don’t recommend getting your mental health advice from TikTok (sorry gen-Z’s).

Here’s an excellent TedTalk video on the views of stress, and how anyone can combat it:

How to Make Stress Your Friend – Kelly McGonigal (via TedTalk on YouTube)

For me, I found a few different mental health podcasts that I enjoy listening to online. They really dig deep, and you basically get to listen to a counselor walking through trauma and actionable steps with a person in the same boat as you! The one I recommend the most undoubtedly to anyone is the John Delony Show on YouTube. John holds two PhD’s, one in higher education, and the other in psychology. He worked for years as the Director of Students for a university, and also was on call at all hours of the day to serve as a trauma response superhero. I had the pleasure of meeting him just recently at his show in Nashville, TN.

Dr. John Delony (far left) and Dave Ramsey (far right). Why are we so short?

Another podcast on Youtube that I highly recommend is Healthy Gamer GG. He gives great advice to various content creators on the platform, all live and raw for you to listen to and process through. There’s also plenty of books that can help educate you about mental health, I’ll leave a few below:

In Conclusion

At the end of all of this, know that you are worth being well. Also know that whatever you choose to do moving forward, you will always follow you. You can continue to carry baggage, pain, suffering, and mental health conditions around with you like a pet. Or you can work on positive change every single day. It’s not easy, but it will always be worth it at the end of all of this.

PS: Please send this blog to someone that you know. They could be struggling today, or they know someone who is. We are in this together.

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Charity

I have chosen to donate $100 of my own to NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) – and below is a fundraiser for additional support that I will send to them. For every $1 that is donated, I will match it with another $1 of my own (on top of the base $100 that I am donating). Please feel no pressure to do this yourself unless you decide that you want to. You can also donate directly to NAMI here.

Categories
Lifestyle

Things Aren’t Enough

I hope every day by telling my stories and life experiences, that I may enrich others with advice and life skills to help them become better people. That’s the ultimate goal. We’re all in this game of life, together.

We’re all in this game of life, together.

No Place Like Gone, 2022

I thought by buying video games that I could make up for my childhood. I thought by hoarding things that I had accumulated over the years that I could keep every memory I’ve experienced since birth. Why? I constantly found myself walking into the same stores weekly to look for something to purchase – again and again. Never-ending. It was affecting me more than I ever truly wanted to realize.

When did I start believing that the more things I accumulated, the happier that I would become? A false pretense, for sure. To leave things short winded, I had a bumpy childhood with the whole family situation. Not to mention that becoming a teenager is already hard on its own. Jesus, have you ever been in a middle school? You’d think they were capable of overthrowing the government, if given the power!

A fairly accurate description of middle schoolers when they hear the bell for lunch.

I began to play video games and isolate as often as I could. Only now am I realizing at 26 years old that this was the case. I used video games as an escape, and I began to see people as threats. Why was this happening?

An anomaly that is impossible to explain are mental illnesses with the human brain. Scientists around the world continue to study its’ processes and why illness occurs, but it’s often difficult to pinpoint. Although, it’s universally accepted that we begin to experience things like depression or OCD because of certain life events. Most often when the brain can’t create a solution for something that it is not used to, it will develop mental conditions irregular to you. This still doesn’t explain why I found myself wanting more things, to replace black holes within myself.

So, I set out searching for an answer. Why aren’t things enough? I keep buying more, and my house is filling up. My video game collection is stacking up. Money is going out the door faster than I can make it. What was I missing?

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I only recently in the last few months began to see a therapist. I also have been listening to a mental health podcast, and reading material in my leisure. Looking back, I don’t regret any of these decisions. Regardless of what you are struggling with, it always will help to have a professional in your corner. I was skeptical for a long time that anything was even wrong with me. Surely I’m fine. I get up and go to work every day. I’m hardworking and diligent, but I wasn’t happy. It took a lot of introspection and working with others to locate my flaws. Trust me, they were deep under the surface. Most of us don’t have the skills required to dig deep into our consciousness and solve trauma or deep-rooted behaviors. That’s where therapy and getting educated comes into play.

A resource that I highly want to recommend to everyone is the book Own Your Past, Change Your Future by John Delony. Delony is a national best-selling author and part of the Ramsey Solutions team. He also has a mental health podcast and radio show broadcasted across America multiple times a week. With a distinct background in education and psychology, he holds two PhD degrees and many certifications beyond that.

Own Your Past, Change Your Future by John Delony

In the book, he speaks about how to recognize your current life situation. No matter where you come from or how your struggles affect you, he gives a step-by-step approach of healing from them and moving forward into your brighter future. I can’t recommend this book and his content any quicker. It will definitely aid you in your journey.

One of the most common things that keeps coming up is that I need connections. I needed friends. I neglected keeping in touch with people. From high school, college, the gym, I hardly kept up with anyone. I began to weaponize people and create excuses everywhere I looked. “Wow this asshole could of put his grocery cart back at the return area instead of leaving it in a parking space.” I began to believe that I hated people. “If people acted more like me then society would be so much better!” I continued creating every myth that I could, placing myself on a pedestal and allowing myself to hate humankind.

So why did I fixate on things? I’ve learned from therapy that things became an obsession for me because I thought that they would replace my incessant need for people. I thought that having more things would bring me safety and prosperity. I truly believed that I could plow through life without anyone in my corner cheering me on. These objects became my “friends” and they never let me down. After all, they can’t speak. They also can’t promise to hang out with you, then not show up. Wow, that’s deep. As I’m writing this, I can feel it. Hopefully this strikes a cord with you too.

I’ve also learned that money is a tool that you can use for good or bad. It allows you to spend money on things to your heart’s content. Money is one of the controllable things that you can make from working. Then you can control it and allow yourself to receive instant feedback. What I mean is, if I work 40 hours at X job, I know I’ll get paid Y amount of money. With Y money, I can buy Z thing. The amount of control that you can feel from spending money on any number of things is powerful. All of these letters makes this feel like Algebra class…

After all of the dust is settled, I have one last thing to say. If you are struggling with anything right now, seek out help. I’ve provided a few resources and examples throughout this read.

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